There's something wonderfully inspiring about Insomnia.
Or, let me rephrase that , there can be something quite wonderful about it . I'm sure that after a couple of nights or so it begins to pall .
Saturday night I fell asleep a little earlier than usual and then woke after a wierd dream/nightmare featuring both of my long dead Grandmothers. It wasn't so much the content of the dream that was disturbing . Indeed one of the Grandmas slipped me a packet of Orkney fudge all sellophane wrapped and it was chocolate raisin flavoured too ( can I say more?) . The other Grandma was seated at a Garden Table with me and some other people , outside. Although diminuitive in stature in real life and by the end rather shaky on her pins , in the dream she stood up to a height of around six feet and stalked off into a house and we all watched her go , watching the back of her dress for signs of wear and tear . I remember thinking, she is almost a hundred years old and her dress is impeccable, a zig zag pattern reminding me of my migraines . Black and green.
No , what was disturbing was the anxiety overcoming me after I woke. I put the light on and the dog gave me a hard stare and sighed heavily . Half past three. I picked up and finished my book Sarah Dunant .. something about Snow storms in a Hot Climate . Then took myself off downstairs to make a milky coffee and find a piece of Christmas shortbread . The guinea pigs squeaked in a minor way cognisant of the fact that four am is not six am and nowhere near ready for Breakfast ( mystery) . The cats dozed on .
Back in the bedroom my blackberry located friends online still awake. Bliss!!! Soothing conversations via text. Anything is possible now . Technology amazes and delights.
I pick up a book of short stories. Constitiutional by Helen Simpson. I read on until eight am and then sleep for twenty minutes and then fall asleep for twenty minutes. My Uncle Ronnie , also dead these past few years appears and takes both my hands in his and tells me something about a cousin of my Dad's , Elsie which makes no sense.
I have met three dead relatives this night during this time of my life when crisis is happening .
A blog post will clarify this as soon aspossible.
Thank you for continuing to follow me.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
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3 comments:
We'll hope for the best, whatever that looks like.
I go through periods of 3 or 4 am wakeups, about half the time I fall asleep again, the rest of the time...well maybe I should start reading again. No Blackberry so that's out.
Reading is the best ! It makes the time seem like a treasure and a gift rather than a chore.
Thanks for keeping visiting . There will be changes soon and I will be here more often again . Its all good. I think .
Dead people and a crisis? Not a good combo.
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