" Our fur is so lovely and soft .. and we don't bite , well we don't bite people anyway , just each other "

Cling On Wars ......

You may be able to work out the problem just by looking at the picture . But maybe not . Its simple , yet complicated all at once . Kitty , as the nurse told us , is a Big Girl . In fact , so big now that she lies on her back for comfort rather than on her belly . ( In primary school I had a " composition corrected when I used the word Belly , and the teacher wrote Tummy in red pen above , so now I use Belly as an act of defiance though I know its rather an outdated term. My grandparents had a farm . What can I say ? )

The vet tells us to make her diet , but this is tricky when we have three picky Birmans who we have to coax to eat . How do you deprive one and not the others ? I don't have the answer , short of making them live separately and my life is far too complicated already without cats holed up in different areas . We already have adult / teenagers with the demarcations that brings , not to mention cats/ greyhound etc etc .

In addition to the fat she is adding ( adding value I think its called in Business now ) there is also a large area of matted fur on her back , which started as a little area , which has matted because she can't reach that bit to lick and clean herself . And yes you're right , in theory we could groom her , take a brush or a grooming glove to that bit and un matt the fur , de tangle the hair and hey presto . But , youre not taking into account Kitty's personality which is the main issue here , or one of the main issues .

Kitty is a force to be reckoned with .

Suffice to say we had Kitty booked to be spayed at the vets several times over the years and cancelled simply because we were unable to transfer her into the cat basket by any means known to woman and daughter . We presented at the vets badly cut and scratched to explain our time wasting ... and they understood completely . In fact the vet emerged from his consulting rooms at the behest of the senior nurse and said he completely and absolutely agreed with our decision to leave her at home which was "safest for all ". He inspected our wounds and suggested we absolve ourselves from further responsibilities that day .

Occasionally I read reports of the RSPCA prosecuting cruel people who have neglected their pets and left them with tumours and illnesses and all manner of things and then sometimes , of people who are deemed cruel having left their pets with terribly matted hair and my eye catches Kitty's and we exchange a look and I try to at least run my hand over the area and she spits at me and I quail ...... and I blanche and I think the RSPCA would look at my other cats and the guinea pigs and the dog and they would see how they are all loved and they would see how Kitty would rip their throats out of they tried to assist her in any way and they would see how she stares adoringly at me each night as she peers over the top of my book as she weighs my chest down as we read together .... just so long as I leave her fur alone ......

Last night , I decided enough was enough , and declared war on the "cling on" . The huge lump of fur needed a name if I was to beat it and having called it a winnet for a while in my head I then googled the word ( dont ask why ) and realised I was barking up quite the wrong tree here as winnet refers only to the cling ons left behind after poor wiping practices . Having been brought up with a younger brother who was fascinated by such things and also being quite weak stomached himself firmly believed that such matters should be dealt with by the female members of the family if there were pets with such issues ( there frequently were as we had silly cocker spaniels with rather loose bowels ) .

I digress . I threw caution to the wind , took a very sharp pair of scissors , waited till Kitty had her nose in the trough so to speak , and cut into the edge of the cling on . Result . Kitty far too busy troughing to be bothered with what was going on behind her . I snipped away feeling very smug and managed to take away a sizeable piece of the lump . Snippety snip . A bit more . Kitty turned and lashed out . I retreated , patting her head to show we were still friends .

I informed D of my progress so far and he shot off upstairs , not to be out done , returning triumphantly and unmarked a few minutes later , having filled the food bowl in order to take another ball of fluff off her .

Where will it all end .?

If the blog comes to a sudden end , hey , it was nice knowing you all !