The Plinth

Despite an early application to apear on the Plinth in Trafalgar Square I have not yet been awarded a place .
One & Other
It has only just occurred to me today that I can log into the live stream from One and Other . This is even more entertaining than Hencam though so far I have only had time to watch for around three minutes , today being a particularly busy day at the CatCalls HQ . In fact having seen the height of the Plinth I am wondering if I would have dared submit myself to the terrors of being winched up there presumably by cherrypicker , and once there , there is the question of " the performance " and what constitutes Art . However , I will concern myself with that aspect if I am allocated an hour in September or October .

Today we have been deluged with rain .
Alice has refused yet again to attend to her ablutions and is currently hunched over herself groaning slightly due to tummy pains and bloating from " witholding " like a toddler glaring at his or her potty . Only in Alice's case it is the weather she is refusing . D has run back and forwards along the grass with a golf umbrella blowing inside and tugging Alice along by her collar whilst I guffaw supportively from indoors with the camera at the ready . After two or three minutes she breaks free as he lets go the collar thinking she is about to do business , but the only business she means hurtling back for the door and dry cleaning herself on the white sofa before settling down for the day , rain watching from the comfort of the cushions . " Alice " I hear him scream " You need a wee " Alice is pressed against the front door , begging to differ and when a dog says no , there is really nothing you can do .
Ah well , such is life .

All of which leads me to conclude that it really is not safe to order the beautiful shade of carpet we want in palest barley .....

I head for town thus on the metro , the hefty colour spectrum whatsit under my arm and wrapped in a binliner thing due to the still driving rain . I choose the metro due to the weather reports that flooding threatens to close the main road between here and town .

Today I am determined to set out my stall as regards the carpet business . No more talk of pet indiscretions , I shall spell out the problems and see where we get . I hope to close the deal and order some carpet , spurred on by a chat with a helpful friend this morning who suggests carpet tiling may be the answer , " lets face it" she says with her usual candour , "if the dog decides to wipe its backside on the one in front of the tv you can always run it under the tap and replace it with the one that was under the sofa " . Hmm I think , got it in one .
I smile inanely most of the metro ride thinking carpet tile thoughts , and am sucked into the veritable wind tunnel that is Pink Lane . My feet are clad in FitFlops and the water running in streams down the lane is up to my ankles .
But , as I outline my anxieties , the carpet ladies are wonderful and come up with the perfect solution and I leave forty five minutes later and head for Cafe Royal to celebrate with a latte and a ricotta muffin , at which point discovering I have left my mobile phone at home .
This becomes significant an hour later when the metro announces that it is terminating due to floods and we are all expelled onto the streets . I am stranded and cannot get home by any other means . A member of staff at the Travel Centre agrees to ring D for me and he manages to avoid the floods and find a route to collect me . I am a drowned rat , clutching my carpet samples , and Alice is still hunching over her by now doubtless impacted bowel .
Oh happy Days ....