Video Conferencing ? Nein Danke!

Somewhat alarmingly , just as I am settling in my favourite old armchair with a nice cup of black coffee in a Kit Kat mug and a cute little two finger Kit Kat biscuit on the side , my mobile bleeps with a funny note I have not heard before . Deeply engaged as I am in an article about Mother's Day and how Olivia James 's husband walked out leaving her with two babies under three blah blah , I fail to check the phone for a while and Bleep , there it is again ....How could you , I think , (to Mr James), particularly as Olivia had been so happy to receive her first Mother's Day card when Baby One was six months old . The phone wishes to inform me I am out of range for video conferencing with ... who ... my sister ... ! Well I never ! ( And now blogpost wont allow me paras ... do bear with me , readers !! technology, eh ? ) Now I don't know about you but as I sit down on a nice sunny Saturday afternoon with the sun streaming in, the last thing I want is a video conference with anyone , though admittedly if it was going to be anyone my sister would be the most forgiving and lets face it , she has seen it all before , and indeed is due to see it all again next weekend when we have a Guest Slot Catching Up Weekend scheduled . But with my Kit Kats sprawled all over the place , cats on either side of me , my oldest dossing spectacles on , and at my feet a veritable dump of handbagges , phone chargers , satnav chargers , newspapers , colour supplements , Ikea catalogues ( yes I'm checking out those wardrobes already ) a tube of antibiotic cream rescued from the dog basket and thus rather chewed - for my poisoned left thumbnail , a diary , a things to do book , a pile of unattended mail , and in the far distance ( a foot away ) an overturned bin ( the cat's revenge ) , who would want to be seen on the other side of a video conference ? I should add that the rest of the room is impeccable , thanks largely to D's efforts . perhaps in response to my attacking the family bathroom shower tray and tiles with the toothbrush and lemon juice magic mix yesterday afternoon in a moment of madness , he has reciprocated with a full scale deep steam clean today . The windows have been done . The woodwork gleams , dust has been eradicated , my Witches Ball is shining and no longer spins on its thread with an inch of cobweb attached . The tv screen is once again visible . Should my phone change its tune and decide that video conferencing is within my scope I shall point the camera at the room and sit out of sight somewhere , gobbling my chocolate and revelling in my own private pigsty .

The Ides of March

Is this the Ides of march ?
A lovely spring day , and the piggies have got the hang of the ramp in their new piggy playpen and are elbowing each other out of the way to trot up and down from ground level to top floor and nesting box and whenever the mood takes them .
The new living quarters are a great success . I am delighted in that the pen can be cleaned on a daily basis without having to be lifted bodily outside and shovelled clean in a "deep litter , I need my painting gear on but can't be bothered to get changed so my DayJob clothes are going to end up spattered with Guinea Pig debris" sort of fashion . Now all that is needed is a duspan and brush , and hey presto once the coffee beans are ground and the coffee is brewing , assuming the pigs can be talked upstairs to nesting level by means of a cucumber chunk , the plastic tray and ground level can be slid out and brushed neatly ( well , ok neatly -ish ) into a waiting bin liner , and further sawdust added . Then , with Piggy cereal bowl slipped back into the dining room , the pigs come trotting down like Shetland ponies and the nest on level one can be scraped out into the waiting bag and once the cats are removed from the area ( they sit open mouthed watching the proceedings , aghast that pig cleaning takes precedence over cat feeding ) the kitchen floor can be restored to its former ahem glory with a bit of spray disinfectant just as the coffee pot bubbles itself full and D's croissants bake themselves to perfection in the microwave ( twenty seconds ).

You really wanted to know all that didn't you ? I'm over excited about the new gp quarters as you may have gathered , but really this is the fruition of months of planning .
Next on my list is a wardrobe so that my own quarters can be similarly cleaned and organised . If only I had a ramp ....