clear out ?

I habitually wear the same clothes day after day for a number of reasons . I'm sure some of them deeply psychological and which don't bear close scrutiny . There are other factors though . From time to time I ponder the full to bursting wardrobe in my room , and think of a brief foray to seek out a new outfit , perhaps if a night out is on the horizon , or the temperature changes dramatically and I can't wear my pin striped bought-in-winter trousers for a day more in soaring temperatures for the Day Job . (For CatCalls its all much easier . Anything goes really . Cats seem to like me no matter what I wear , and I don't see much of the families really .)

Yesterday was one of those days .. and I tried to gain access to the clothes . First obstacle , Jessie . Open the door and there she is , in before you can stop her , crawling through the piles of shoes bags belts fallen coat hangers and assorted junk, casting her long white hairs over everything and refusing to come within reach so that she can be forcibly ejected . First irritation factor . I feel my hackles rising in a way that is not commensurate with what should be a pleasant task , perusing the belongings and selecting something nice to wear . Second factor . Everything is black . They all bunch together in one confusing horrible dark mass and if you do spot something you like " ooh look a black top " then its the question of the detangling of the coat hangers . Hackles rising nothing . ..As I try to prise out one item without having a nervous breakdown , in goes Kitty to the mix. Two cats at the back of the wardrobe now . I feel sweat begin to prickle and trickle . The room is hot . Thats why I'd rather be downstairs , reading a book , or even out on my bike in the fresh air . It shouldn't have to be like this . I felt perfectly sane before I came looking and now I feel a hundred years old and just want to put my old ( black ) jeans back on . Nothing new there then .

Finally ( for the night out ) , I find a bright green top ( new , and which had therefore not quite made it into the wardrobe along with several other recent purchases , mostly from ebay , and which had joined the clothes-I-wear -every-day -not-to-mention-the-pyjamas hanging over the bannister as the Extension to the Wardrobe threatening to become the main event . And now , happily sorted , I go into the kitchen where the teens are making fairy cakes and N says, with a look of horror on her face , Mum you can't wear that . With a sinking feeling I ask why not " Cos it makes you look fat ". Oops sorry mum . Didnt mean that .
. Too late , its said .
Gutted .
And time to sort the wardrobe , really .

I take a quick peek into D's wardrobe. Its more of a style department really .Tempting just to wear his clothes really , would save a lot of hassle . The doors open readily and with a satisfying clunk . And as they open , a delightful fresh wood smell wafts out . And there , in front of my eyes , perfection in a clothes cupboard .( Admittedly he does have a newly built wardrobe ). I feel faint . Everything is colour cordinated , and length co ordinated , and the hangers all match ( none of this four rusty wire ones sitting alongside three black plastics plus one covered with something fancy which someone gave me for Christmas when I was twelve ) and what is more some of the hangers face one way and some the other to make the distinction between different departments . And it all smells divine . I can't begin to describe the smell . And the colours . And everything pressed and fresh . No balls of junk in the bottom . No cats crawling all over . No shoes in a messed up heap . No hairs . Nothing but choice , and ease . No wonder he always looks as he does . Effortless . It all looks so effortless . Where are the piles of things that dont fit into a proper category ? Where are the things like underpants that surely defy even him . Where the balled up socks ? Where is it all ? I want to lie on the floor and wail .
I long to be different .

So , I ask him to help with my wardrobe organisation . And when I ask ,and he says yes and when , and I say soon , I mean soon . Next week maybe . The week after . Wednesday evening . Certainly not today , this afternoon . I have after all , things to do . Debbie to meet , the paper to read , writing to do . Important things . And aren't we having a barbecue and seeing a film later ? Not now Bernard .

But before I know it , we are upstairs . I am collecting all the extras from the bannisters , chosing a bin bag for the charity shop stuff and he is slinging out coat hangers willy nilly . He deftly pulls out long things short things trousers suits black things cats ( did I say cats? ) rearranges them . I try on three things which I haven't worn which were given me by a friend of my sisters , they go into the charity bag and that's it . Its done . He describes the system he has created . And I have a raft of new things I can wear . And suddenly there is movement between my things . Coat hangers slide gracefully . I can see colours . Different colours .

Fifteen minutes later , N s friend Paige arrives and says " hey ! This is the first time Ive seen you wearing casual clothes . You are always wearing formal stuff normally "
" my mam always wears the same stuff " adds N . "Her formal stuff is also her casual stuff "
Just about sums it up . Not that I'd ever regarded anything I wear as Formal . Its just whatever things I can get at . Without having to open the wardrobe .

Bathrooms

Insurance assessor , having walked to the bottom of the yard and scrutinised the roof from there , then perched on the basin in the attic bathroom ( no mean feat ) and pointed his camera out in the general direction of the offending region and taken a few snaps , declares he does not see lost slates and suggests the slates found in our yard ( but Tidied Away and not kept as eveidence ) must have flown off Another Roof . When I ask what the clearly visible hole (which even I can see with my bare eyes ) signifies , he says its just the flashing which has sunk a bit . he suggests we need someone to go up there and clear away the debris and all will be well .

I can't dispute this with any authority as Roofing Man who seemed to think differently , has not sent a quote yet , not have we any actual evidence that he took the ladder and went up to make his own assessement , and as Debbie told me today when we met for coffee , he and his crowd are moving offices and are therefore likely to be incommunicado for some time .

Assessing man may be right , but it was not what I wanted to hear , as now I have to try to organise someone to go onto the roof for clearing debris purposes and I have a feeling this is going to be tricky to arrange as it is likely to be classified as one of those little jobs that no one quite wants to be bothered to tackle . Meanwhile , whilst it remains untackled , we continue to have a seepage problem and thus no point in getting on with the decorating .

Everything is always so complicated and hassling men to do things is not one of my strong points , as preferring to read a book or write for pleasure myself , or even look after a cat , rather than do anything vaguely constructive , chasing others to do my bidding always seems much more time consuming than doing it myself .

Oh well . Something will turn up .