Video Conferencing ? Nein Danke!

Somewhat alarmingly , just as I am settling in my favourite old armchair with a nice cup of black coffee in a Kit Kat mug and a cute little two finger Kit Kat biscuit on the side , my mobile bleeps with a funny note I have not heard before . Deeply engaged as I am in an article about Mother's Day and how Olivia James 's husband walked out leaving her with two babies under three blah blah , I fail to check the phone for a while and Bleep , there it is again ....How could you , I think , (to Mr James), particularly as Olivia had been so happy to receive her first Mother's Day card when Baby One was six months old . The phone wishes to inform me I am out of range for video conferencing with ... who ... my sister ... ! Well I never ! ( And now blogpost wont allow me paras ... do bear with me , readers !! technology, eh ? ) Now I don't know about you but as I sit down on a nice sunny Saturday afternoon with the sun streaming in, the last thing I want is a video conference with anyone , though admittedly if it was going to be anyone my sister would be the most forgiving and lets face it , she has seen it all before , and indeed is due to see it all again next weekend when we have a Guest Slot Catching Up Weekend scheduled . But with my Kit Kats sprawled all over the place , cats on either side of me , my oldest dossing spectacles on , and at my feet a veritable dump of handbagges , phone chargers , satnav chargers , newspapers , colour supplements , Ikea catalogues ( yes I'm checking out those wardrobes already ) a tube of antibiotic cream rescued from the dog basket and thus rather chewed - for my poisoned left thumbnail , a diary , a things to do book , a pile of unattended mail , and in the far distance ( a foot away ) an overturned bin ( the cat's revenge ) , who would want to be seen on the other side of a video conference ? I should add that the rest of the room is impeccable , thanks largely to D's efforts . perhaps in response to my attacking the family bathroom shower tray and tiles with the toothbrush and lemon juice magic mix yesterday afternoon in a moment of madness , he has reciprocated with a full scale deep steam clean today . The windows have been done . The woodwork gleams , dust has been eradicated , my Witches Ball is shining and no longer spins on its thread with an inch of cobweb attached . The tv screen is once again visible . Should my phone change its tune and decide that video conferencing is within my scope I shall point the camera at the room and sit out of sight somewhere , gobbling my chocolate and revelling in my own private pigsty .