What is it with this Year ?

I am on a train to another Northern town with a colleague where we are to engage in some work and travel back later that day . I have tussled with myself about whether I should go , leaving D . Still uncertain what is wrong with him , but acutely aware that he is still suffering pain to varying degrees , I know I am taking a chance . He urges me to go and says he will not be doing much either way . But at the furthest point on my travels it could take me three or four hours to get home . Added to which if I am not at home who knows what he might not attempt in the way of excessive household tasks , tidying , shopping , dog-management etc?
As I leave the house at seven thirty he is already up and about , unloading the dishwasher though I have fed all the animals and done one or two odd jobs having been up since five forty five . The dog is still comatose. Not much dog management required yet .
Thus it is that two or three hours later I am on the train opposite my colleague watching myself watching his phone ringing , seeing him pick it up , seeing his face change as he utters a few words and I realise that something has changed for him . More bad news at the eve of Christmas 2009 as he hears that his mother has died. We talk about how to proceed and he leaves the train at the next stop in order to change direction and join the rest of his family .
I stare into space and wonder What Next ?

I proceed on to complete the work and once back go out on CatCalls .
The roads are sheets of ice and I slide and slip .
Finally , at home at eight pm , I stare at the walls and think , is this what Shock feels like . I am cold , tired and I cannot wait to climb into bed , preferably the ( hot) water bed a notch higher than usual, and certainly with another being though whether human canine feline or all three , it would not matter greatly . I need warmth .
Nat offers to wrap presents and I cannot face even beginning to think where presents are stored but she urges me on and I finally drag myself out of my stupour knowing that it will save me a task later . As she sits neatly wrapping and chatting to me I start to thaw and we talk about Christmasses past , how much Christmas Eve is our favourite time , how we are looking forward to going to Auntie Laura and co tomorrow afternoon ( snow permitting ) and the final episode of The Family comes on Channel whatever it is and before long we are squealing with laughter and loving them all . Shay and Sunni are getting married . Nat is convinced Shay's mother will come to the wedding and I think she sheds a quiet tear when she doesn't show up. At least she now has this amazing family instead , until her own family realise what and who they have lost .
Finally I find there are several members of my own family ( mostly pets ) snuggling on the water bed and I am dozing off whilst Nat lectures me on some heavy topic I have failed to comprehend because I am "too old" . I think , though I may have mis -remembered , it was about boyfriends .