Unwelcome Visitors

One of my friend's cats is living a semi feral existence at the minute despite my best efforts to coax her back into the house. No surprises there , she has always loved the great outdoors and they have a wonderful garden with great nesting potential including an air raid shelter from yesteryear , fruit canes , apple trees , and young pigeons careering about the place . Not to mention mice and all manner of wildlife out there . Far more interesting than the silence that is the house with no one living there at present , my friend holidaying in warmer climes.
On the odd occasion I am pottering out there in the dusk , watering plants and enjoying the late sunshine, and I come across her lording it on the bench , we stop for a friendly chat . I note that she is scratching well and edge further along the garden bench . But her friendly demeanour is hard to resist and soon we are sitting side by side watching the world go by .

The following day I am in attendance at another favourite , reading a note which tells me that my charge is suffering from an infestation and that although she has been treated there may still be some stray beasties lurking .

No surprise then that at four am I wake scratching my head off and when I investigate , I am lined with bites from these unwelcome visitors . I cannot bear to use the F word on the CatCalls website.

FastForward two days and my own dear Pearl is stewing happily on my lap when I notice a black critter burrowing through her fur . A further invesitgation reveals that she requires a dose of Frontline . I hurry to check her companions and yes , they are all crawling . Mm.
I hardly know who to blame .
The weather I think is the safest , hot and wet and September is the worst month for the offenders .
We purchase more Frontline and an F comb .
I am itching so much myself by this time that I am tempted to dose myself but the instructions do not mention this . Instead I move away from the windows and comb my hair out carefully and ( very) fully with the Dog F comb before I start using it on the animals . After all no one will ever know . I then check the comb ( with my spectacles applied ) and satisfy myself that there are no F s in my own hair , and no F poo , which is much in evidence on the cats . I feel better , but the itching continues . I satisfy myself with further applications of antihistamine cream which the pharmacist prescribed after a curious glance at me when I mentioned having a(n) F infestation .
As I write D is arranging for Bjorn , an ex footballing Swedish cyclist who is cycling from Oslo to South Africa to publicise the plight of refugees , to stay with us tomorrow evening as he passes through , and for the media to publicise his stopover , for which Sunderland Football Club have donated a football shirt . Bjørn Heidenstrøm - a knol by thisisspain ( Read about The Shirt here )
Let us hope all our Fs have all died by then .