Is your daughter allowed to swear ?

Today most of my plans have been cancelled due to a sickness / achey joints thing that has been creeping up for a day or two .

My CatCalling done and the dog walked , I settle back into the armchair in an array of comfort-clothes, namely my skinny jeans now baggy due to weight loss ( ha! not that I'm boasting and I am well aware that this is fragile and could change at any moment ) , a silk camisole now settling somewhat lower on the torso than it should , due to different aspects of the above ( the semi disappearance of the chest ) a striped cashmere sweater ( no issues apart from a large darn under the arms ) and a zipped up puffa waistcoat . Makes a change from the Lush pj bottoms and the bravissimo top and soft downy plush bathrobe with giraffe spots in brown and cream : a pile of newspapers to hand and a pot of lapsang souchong tea at the ready .

I have time . There are no pressures . I can take a slow chug through the travel section and enjoy at my leisure Tim Dowling's family ski ing trip in St Moritz. It will be as if I were away myself , and if ski ing does not take my fancy today , already having spotted Mr Fit- and -Eighty -if-he's-a-Day throwing himself into the icy waves on King Edward's Bay , and indeed photographed the moment for your amusement , then maybe Haneif Kureishi's trip with his son to Venice may be more my thing until at least my own fingertips have de-iced, and who would blame me ?

(Click to see Mr F in the water )

But .... and here's the thing , Tim Dowling is funny and relevant wherever he is and today he is talking about his boys ;

"The exhileration of the first day ( on the slopes ) ..is slightly tarnished by the walk back to the ski hire shop , listening to my children swearing behind me " and my heart leaps .

Tim , you are so on my wave length !

Though I failed to mention it earlier this week , I had a mobile phone adventure towards the end of the Grace Jones gig , when my new touch screen phone was located behind my seat at the Sage and handed back to me by a kind stranger . It had parted company with its back but as we were all filing out at this point I stuffed it in its entirety into my coat pocket only realising later that the sim card was missing .

Return to Hall One was necessary , scrabbling behind seats was done , to no avail , and the Sage engineers continued to dismantle Ms Jones's hydraulic platform in peace .

Meanwhile my phone was behaving most strangely . It no longer appeared to believe that its sim card was missing but instead was intent on making calls , to my local out of hours emergency doctors service and nothing I said or did would stop it . ( Touch phones , you have to hand it to them , once on a roll there is no stopping them ! ) The doctors were understanding . I was mortified . After them it rang a professional contact of mine . Argh ! At almost midnight . Not good . I finally managed to move it on so that if it rang anyone it would be my daughter's friend , so that I could ask her advice ..she has the same phone .

A text arrived from N telling me about her evening . She had had cider spilled on her by a large lady at the Pussycat Dolls and her description of the event contained a colourful expletive .

" Oh " said my friend curiously , trying to help me with the management of this evil phone which was completely beyond my control at this point . " Is your daughter allowed to swear ? "

There is really no answer to this .

It is the same question as " are your pets allowed on the soft furnishings " .

Kitty ( above ) was wondering the same thing about Greyhounds . Background detritus reflects onset of flu like symptoms . That's my story and I'm sticking to it . Usually D would not allow said detritus . Flu like symptoms largely his .