4am in the morning ...

2am . Migraine bad . Dog on bed , happily sprawled with long skinny legs in my direction and bodily weight forcing D to the very margins his territory .
I wake , having dreamed that I am a child again or a teenager , living at home , and we live aboard some kind of vessel floating on the sea . I sit to the edge of a slatted bench , my mother is near me . All around us is the sea , bright turquoise , menacing , with prawns and discarded dolls on she sea floor miles beaneath us . I am terrified if I stand I will fall in. I lurch and my fear mounts .

More medication induced fear .
The dog wakes and wriggles closer , permitted the bed because of her fear of fireworks and having been bitten by another greyhound on Sunday on the beach she is particularly susceptible to anything scary . We were up and down three or four times Monday night with her .
My head is beyond sleep so I go in search of more medication then prop myself on pillows and and read until they take me over and the muscles relax .
A text arrives from my friend C.... it takes me an hour before I can muster the energy to open it . She simply says
God Bless America !
Despite my feelings about everything , about my head , about missing Queen live at the Arena earlier in the evening , about missing seeing Dave and him signing my copy of his book about the Fall ( Dave Simpson : The Fallen The Quietus Features The Fallen- Searching For The Missing Members Of The) , about once again having to leave work early and about probably having to miss another day at work , I read the text twice and I smile . I know what this means. And not for the first time I am glad to have this opportunity of being awake in the night and being an early witness to life changing events .