Migraine Day ?

Freddie's Dad Tim has posted that the bench they planned in memory of baby Fred has been sited now at the zoo opposite where they live . There are pictures of the bench and the plaque and an amazing photograph of a butterfly coming to rest near them as they looked at the bench for the first day . Butterflies were very significant when their baby was dying and would appear and settle near them and it I hope they found some solace and meaning in this particular apparition . We Love You Freddie. They will be having another baby soon and there is a great photograph of Rachel looking lovely on the bench . I wonder if the baby is a girl or a boy ?

Yesterday was a funny old day . A very productive morning , walking the dog in what felt like spring temperatures ( up to 15degrees at one time yet snow is forecast for the weekend ) , finishing lots of menial tasks around and about , including much dropping off here and there . My final port of call was to be a trip to the new food hall at the Marks and Spencer newly opened nearby and a Starbucks coffee and perusal of the books in Borders by way of reward for completion of above . The old familiar signs of migraine creeping on didn't deter me . Taking heavy duty preventive medication which renders me drowsy at the best of times and somewhat inarticulate at the worst of times ( a common side effect is the inability to find common words and Im frequently floundering and waiting for people to fill in the gaps , ugh ) makes the migraines less in your face and leaves me feeling I should be able to continue with my daily life without giving way and taking to my bed . ( Pig headed I can be . )
I press on , driving up to M and S feeling vaguely ok , knowing I don't need much , more wanting just to look and pick up a few things and the coffee is more of a treat after all . If I really feel bad by then I can always get a take out and drink at home .
In the check out at M and S the staff are all newly appointed , bright eyed and bushy tailed . Vanessa is particularly engaging , youngish and with a sparkle about her . She asks me how I am today , which is still rare in British shops , and then tries to interest me in some blueberry puffs which are selling with a bogof offer ( and oh how long it was before I worked out what a bogof was ! ) . I decline , already starting to feel queasy , and as she gestures towards the bunches of narcissi asking brightly " how about daffodils then " I decline again feeling I am letting the side down but as the yawning is starting which is usually a clear indication that Vomiting is not far off , I start to feel irritable and almost as I did a couple of weeks ago when I found myself speaking in tongues at the M and S robot machine . Vanessa composes herself in the face of such an awkward customer , drawing back slightly , and makes do with informing me that she herself consumed one of the very fruity indeed blueberry low fat biopot yoghurts for breakfast and it was just brilliant . ( Makes do was not the word I wanted . This Topamax is a pain ) . I gather up my shopping and hurry off .

I hesitate outside Starbucks . The sensible thing to do is obvious . Into the car and off home before I decline further . But I had set my heart on a latte and maybe even a granola bar or a muffin . I'm tired of admitting defeat and taking to my bed . If I had a cat to feed , I would manage it fine . If I had a report to do for the Day Job , or an interview to conduct , or an Assessment , most days I would Manage . Just because I'm completely free shouldn't not mean I can just give in to Immigran and fall asleep . The debate in my head rages as I climb the stairs . Before I know it , I have a ginger muffin ( good for sickness ) in my bag , a coffee on a cardboard tray in my hand , and the contents of my stomach are in the Starbucks lavatories .
Result?

I drive home slowly , take my pills , collect Alice despite the No Dogs on the water bed Rule , and fall asleep reading Patrick Gale , fully clad .

Kitty is horrified at the dog's arrival on the bed , but stays firmly in place , as does Pearl . Toby arrives half an hour later , flattening his ears as he spots the big black skinny thing but after arching his back half heartedly for a minute decides he can't be bothered to take a stand if no one else is putting themselves out .

Later in the evening , after my head clears , and I say a silent prayer to the drugs companies who invented Topamax and Immigran which despite their side issues allow me to spend more of my time in the land of the living if not fully compos mentis , I walk for an hour with D , we meet a large boy greyhound called Thomas and ( even later ) further family revelations (not blogging material at this stage) remind me once again of just how steadfast and loyal children are to their parents no matter how badly they have been let down , and how much I admire my lovely feisty daughter , who if she applies herself and decides its what she wants to do , has the potential to make a very fine barrister in her future life . She has qualities which take my breath away .