A Rat in the Bedroom .

I head for the bathroom at three am and round the far side of the bed I encounter a big grey thing .
A rat , next to the bed , sitting hunched as rats do . I stop dead in my tracks , as you do , and stare . Silence . Then I hear the rain lashing and the wind . I glance round , noting the presence of at least two large cats , asleep. I consider leaping back onto the bed but the consequent mayhem would stop D in his tracks , possibly .
The water bed does not take kindly to being jumped on . In the early morning light as I stare at the hunched sight I realise it is in fact not a rat at all , but a Guinea Pig . Of course ! Why would a rat be in our bedroom ?
A grey guinea pig , ( the one we call Hedgehog in fact , and house in the kitchen directly below , has clearly made her way upstairs in search of breakfast greens ) and is now resting and planning her day quietly near the Victorian fireplace ?

I feel oddly chilled by this large rat/ guinea pig and decidely reluctant to step over and around it , which I have to do to get to the door . I still need the bathroom . I am feeling the urge to run as there is something not quite right about this and I have a vague primal gnawing fear that the creature will turn and run at me and wind up inside my pyjama leg ( echoes of Dad here and the incident involving the mouse brought in by the cat circa 1968 , Stamfordham , one Saturday night after Supper, though I am sure it was his trousers rather than his nightwear which were invaded , to our glee ) .
I glance again at the bed . D and the cats breathe heavily on .
Suddenly , and without warning , the rat hunches and moves , wriggling in sickening fashion across the carpet . I am wide eyed but immobile , as it moves thankfully across my line of vision rather than closer to me . As it moves , it is joined at its right extremity by a large beige Birman cat , stretching and yawning . The rat was her bunched up tail , her body concealed by the overhang of the duvet .
I head for the bathroom my heart pounding .
For the record , I didn't wet myself .