It started well . I slept beyond radio 4 snapping into action at 6 30 ( why , on the weekends ? ) and even a bit beyond the 6 45 phone alarm starting up . (I wake with no headache ). I never bother to cancel that as the dog usually gets me up before that in any event . But even she slept in today . I crept down to find her just stirring , the white Ikea humans throw wrapped round her shoulders and the blue and green tartan dogs throw round her waist and lower torso . She eases up and the tail wags once then she settles back down for another five until she is certain the food cupboard door is opening . The Guinea Pigs are rather more sociable squeaking their good mornings and hopping about their domain , stretching their necks and woffling the noses in anticipation of breakfast . The cats appear and start to swarm and trip me . Once the dog's mince is on the computer shows its 10 degrees outside and rather than nip back to bed with the book I get drawn into a blog .
I love blogs .
Today Silliyak has left an intriguing comment on mine and I start reading some of his archives . Soon I am transported to another world and a trip to China ( was it ? I think so ? ) and a potty story ( in the UK we use potty to describe the things babies poo and wee on but I know from my travels in the States that potty there is used for adult functions too , which amuses me no end ) . I find myself laughing out loud and soon half an hour has passed and I am looking at cat pictures and reading witticisms and wondering why my own blog is so pedestrian . Envy is a terrible thing . There is a seagull called Charlie who eats hotdogs and has lived for thirty years and ......
The mince is burning and the cats are not amused and I have to tear myself away . The spell is broken so I serve animal breakfast and retire upstairs , not before I notice Alice is missing , despite having demolished a hearty panful . Silence . I check the stairs . Somehow she has broken through the baby stair gate and is in the bathroom scoffing the cats' breakfast . I adopt my most hurt / cross voice and tell her what I think and then find the cats all sulking in the bedroom , horrified at this breach of the boundaries .

Alice later chases a large lurcher type dog on the beach , turbo charged perhaps by the cats breakfast and is unbiddable . The lurcher is bigger and braver than she is and bounces across rocks and through the sea. Alice follows ( forgetting that she does not do water ) but does not see the lie of the land and falls into a deep pool and sinks .

Later I have yet another nosebleed and return to the house to find the kitchen awash with teenagers making pancakes . There is a blood curdling noise from elsewhere and one of the visitors asked if the house is haunted . Nat and I exchange a look . We are not sure .