While I was at Debenhams ...( a tale of food sloppage and washing machines )

...the washing machine crashed . It made all the right noises , pretending to be doing its stuff but at the end of the cycle the clothes were all covered in bits of soap powder and some were wet and some were dry . Luckily Mr Westerby was contactable and in the area , six other washing machines in the area having taken the gee for Christmas , so he popped by , much to Alice's glee as he had just consumed a meat pie in the van and she was convinced a morsel was still lurking in his cheek somewhere .
His diagnosis was simple . The bearings had gone ,( and broken the drum ?) the belt had flown off and he wasn't commiting himself as to whether it was worth a repair , which would cost £90 . D shook his head but I was all for it . I like that machine , and I hate new machines , all those neon panels and parts that last even less time than the ones you currently have .

D asked when it could be done and ( looking straight at me ) Mr W joked " Eeh dont put me under pressure "
" Moi ? " I longed to say " Moi ? " Who washes perhaps two items per week and would happily do all my things by hand as I mostly wear sweaters anyway , and believe only jeans are tricky enough to really warrant a machine , and I know from experience that in an emergency they can be worn for several days ( weeks ? Hush your mouth woman you will have no friends ! ) without requiring the services of any kind of washing , so long as you fold them up nicely and pay close attention to your own personal hygiene ( come on we were all students once ) . And contrary to popular opinion I do change my personal items as frequently if not more so than other members of the household , I am simply more discreet , but that's another story .

Me ? I wanted to say ? put you under pressure ? For me after the New Year would be fine .

But not wanting to queer the pitch for N and D who have a load each a day and change outfits as often as I ( now I got some for my birthday ) reapply my Bobbi Brown lipgloss , thanks Nat, I keep my counsel . (Admittedly some of their frequent changing is due to their food sloppage . Not something in which I indulge )
Barely a meal passes without one of them disturbing the peace with a major outburst involving tomato ketchup , the utterance of expletives and a flurry of activity with a tissue or a wet floor cloth .)

So off he goes wheeling the machine with him , and I think back to last Christmas when by some strange quirk of fate we were without washer , dishwasher and heating ( though not the full system ) , and hot water , most of the time .
Isn't life grand .
Its that stage of Christmas where I have forgotten what I have bought .
I had started a list , which when I check . contains two items , bought way back in November , but that in itself is helpful as they were long forgotten .
But No Matter , we do have heating , the tree looks lovely , I got the things I needed today , I have a new book to read " Consequences " by Penelope Lively when I finish the Kate Morton book " The House at Riverton " and there is one of those wonderful tv things where drunk people are being picked up by the police for being incompetent on the roads which for some reason I am finding hilarious and Alice is sighing heavily at . ( oh look now she is so drunk she has jammed her hand in the car door. )

And best news of all . Kitty came downstairs tonight for a few minutes , first time since Alice moved in . Soon we will be back to normal , cats and all .
Bliss .