I'm thinking a lot at the minute and that makes it hard for me to write . Its also unusual for me .(Ha!) The canooist story has set me off on a train of thought about what are the universal things we all crave , we all like to ponder on , all enjoy reading about . The canooist story for those of you who who arent in the UK is the story of a local man from the north east who sailed off in his canoo some seven years ago and didnt re appear , was missing , declared dead at an inquest some thirteen months later ( quite a short time as these things usually pan out ) , his wife appears to have cashed in some insurance policies and got on with life , continuining to live and work locally until a few weeks ago when she up and moved to Panama , apparently on a whim after a holiday there , and after a flurry of financial acivity when she sold both of her properties .
Earlier this week her " dead " husband showed up at a police station in London saying " I think I'm missing but I've lost my memory so I'm not sure " . Both of the couple' s sons interestingly also gave up their jobs recently .
And the final twist , a photo of both Mr and Mrs has been found on a website for happy families relocating to Panama , purporting to have been taken last year . Last Year ! When he was still missing ! And his father , and sons , still ( allegedly ) grieving him ? All very wierd .

But the point of my ponderings is the occasional universal attractiveness of the idea of disappearing , to a new life . I guess its the stuff of Holidays . Our plans to go somewhere different , see new things , leave the phones behind , wear different clothes , eat new food , exchange everything in fact ......

And yet , at 5 30 am , as I stand in my kitchen , emptying the dishwasher , I ponder my routines and how much I love " all that " . I love the fact that Alice wakes me at the same time each morning . That I come down just as the heating is kicking into action ( and wonder if BetteJo's heating is working ok now , and recall last Christmas when we had no heat and no hot water and I was ill and off work and ..... ) and the kitchen is warm , and Alice stretches hugely , her long skinny legs straightening and clicking and then she bends forwards and then up again then is ready to face the day and I open the door and let her out and at that point , as the Pigs feel the draught of cold air they squeal in annoyance , which changes to glee as they see me coming with their cereal , and as Alice charges at full blast back up the yard and slides along the kitchen floor once her brakes are on and I'm onto the coffee pot stage , enjoying the aroma of the fresh coffee and the ritual of the machine and the noise it makes and then the tussle to keep Alice out of the cupboard where her food is kept whilst I load up her bowl with biscuits then take the chicken out of the fridge .( greyhounds are so strong when they are determined on getting to their treats ). All on a kind of automatic pilot . And the soooner all this is done the sooner I can sit on the sofa and she next to me and I can read blogs at 5 45 am and she can sigh and enjoy relaxing until her walk .
Peace until the rest of the household awakes .
And the day goes on , and where would I be without my routines , the little things built up that I love , that are this life here, now , that unwittingly I create wherever I am and whatever the circumstances .
So I guess that running away to a new life for any of us , would raise the question for me at least , would would that life be . how different would it be , what would I take with me ?