Wake at 4am and Pearl is keeping watch from her vantage point on the chest , and Kitty sleeping quietly on the end of the bed , though doubtless spitting and hissing if any foot movement disturbs her .

I shift carefully to see if the headache has gone . There is still a knitting needle poking through my head behind my left eye , boring a track of fire . Hot waves wash through my head and I think again of the ice helmets or ice packs I have seen advertised and never understood previously when all I have wanted has been warmth to my neck where the pain starts .

Though trying to take as few painkillers as possible as they inevitably cause headaches in themselves , I need something to deal with this so I find Syndol and swallow a whole one knowing this will knock me out fairly fast . I lie there looking at Pearl and watching her as she watches me and think about pain relief in labour and breathing through the pain and conclude that I never understood it when I was in labour and I dont understand it now . But I watch my breathing and try to keep my head still and think ahead to half an hour's time when the medication will be working and I will float off leaving the pain behind me and I start to feel a little spaced out and once I can feel the effects and I know its going to happen the panic starts to lessen .