Kitty , in all her splendour

Kitty , looking almost streamlined . (An optical illusion )

The nurse at the vet 's , trying to get the message across whilst also being tactful , says , when we pick her up after an operation

, " You know yourself, I dont need to tell you , she's a big girl . "

I smile

"And its not good for her . "

Managing to instill the necessary sense of Guilt to ensure we start the diet immediately , and silencing our attempts to explain that none of it is our fault . That Kitty is a law unto herself and that we wouldn't actually dare try to reduce her food intake , or indeed take any action that went against her wishes . That even making her wait five minutes for cat biscuits after she has tapped the food bowl and made her wishes known, results in a frenzied attack on the legs , coupled with loud hissings and spittings and audible yowls and cries of anger which increase in intensity and volume should the offender happen to be on an outside call , particularly of a business nature .

" Is that your cat in the background ?"

Silence as they listen to the anguished shrieks .

"Is everything all right there ? Do you need to check on her ? "

Sharing her space with three Birmans of small stature and with little real interest in food doesn't help . As they stroll around the food bowls and peck like birds , Kitty moves in for the kill and hoovers up the leftovers , swishing her tail angrily as she goes , defying all efforts to slow her progress.

A law unto herself .