Pulling up at the kerb tonight at six pm I spied an elderly lady watching my approach and obviously ready to have words with me . Tall and genteel with elegantly set hair , yet somehow I knew she wasnt just going to talk about the weather or ask me to look after the cat . Recalling encounters years ago with Mrs L who frequently came out onto the road to complain about her husband , I smiled and then looked away but before the car had fully come to a halt she stepped off her perch on the pavement , and pulled open my car door . ( Goodness me what price personal space ) . She immediately launched into a tirade of words ( well , yes , there now , you see ) so I said Are you all right ? fearful even as I spoke that she might clout me one .

No , I'm not , she said , firmly , Ive had enough of you pulling up to the kerb with your dark glasses on and telling me nothing of anything I need to hear , you're saying nothing at all of anything .

Oh ! I said . Im sorry .
Anything else would have sounded inflammatory I think .

Im sure there are people all over who would agree with her , though how she knew how little I have to say , beats me .

And at that she stalked off up the road .

I collared one of the neighbours later who recognised my description and promised to have a word with her sister whom apparently she might have been looking for .