Yesterday was the scheduled trip to the Ear Nose and Throat consultant , ordered by the neurologist who took against my evil little cough and my nose bleeding when I saw him way back when . I'm used to the cough and only really objected to it when my chest hurt realy badly and this it transpired was because the cough had broken my ribs . But that was a long time ago now , around the time this blog started .
So yesterday found me entering another Big Man' s office and spotting a nasty little thing on a stick which was apparently destined to go up my nose . ( Both Nostrils ) For some reason I had not bargained for a camera .

This is the e mail( warts and all ) I later sent my sister ......

Saw doc at ENT and he immediately poked a long skinny ( but not skinny enough ) camera on a stick up my nose . The left side wasn't too bad but the right nostril was agony ... I was puffling and whingeing and snorting and he was saying that's the worst over etc , oh dear your nose is terribly narrow cant get the camera round the turn ( he was German ) , oh dear , just one more twist etc ..... anyway he then declared the inside of my nose to be dry and crusty behind the u bend and therefore will continue to bleed unless I regularly snort Vaseline .

Now he said Second Issue Do you suffer from Post Nasal Drip today ?

I don't know what Post Nasal Drip is exactly, I tell him . I had a cough which keeps coming back and the migraine doctor took against it and referred me to you .

Do you snore ?
No
Do you have indigestion ?
No ?
Ever ?
No except when pregnant ...
Do you have a dry throat when you wake up ?
Erm sometimes ?

Are you sure you don't snore ?
Quite sure .
Ever have snored ?
Never !

Well Now you have to use this vaseline up the nose , snuffing it , and second issue I will refer you to a Speech Therapist and she can advise you about the throat issue ,
me ( baffled )what Throat Issue ?
Yes your throat is an issue in all of this . Speech therapist will help with this .
Me . Oh .
Nurse smiles at me encouragingly

And finally Third Issue and most important the cough you are suffering
Well here I will give you some medicine .
You will take it three months , it will deal with the aspiration of something in your stomach which is an issue which no one can find out because you are sleeping . Your chest is clear but you are coughing so something is going on . So there is this aspiration into your stomach which is causing ulcers and such like .Then you are coughing from this . Medicine is helping . In three months I will see you again .

????

I should add that the doctor was unfailingly courteous and although I asked several questions which he ignored because he was engrossed in writing his notes and drawing little pictures of my too narrow nose in which his camera had got stick round the u bend ( ouch ) he was clearly trying to make sure I understood what I needed to do .

I confess that my main concern in all these matters is the fact that I am a chronic migraine sufferer and the cough is secondary . Unless I have an inkling that the cough might be connected , then I have little interest in its treatment .

Ah well , who knows . Maybe this man will miraculously clear up the cough , the speech therapist will perform some other feat and my headaches will be no more .
Its worth a try !

Not what I Expected ... the migraine research trials

The results are back from my food intolerance testing which was the first step in taking part in the York University research trials . Now all I have to do is avoid the foods I have been identified as being intolerant to . Though when I read the initial info it sounded like we would not be told which group we had been assigned to , oe we would not be sure whether or not we were actually avoiding the right foods . Which does make me wonder ... as I have been informed I am intolerant to peanuts . Now for the last several years peanut butter was one of my staple foods . This started when I shared my house with a research chemist who worked for Procter and Gamble , an American company which made the most amazing peanut butter , far superior to any we had on offer in this country at that time ( I'm going back to the eighties here . ) Graeme would keep us supplied with these huge jars of this wonderful crunchy silken textured stuff which I adored . I would layer it on doorsteps of granary bread , or even better , rye bread from the Jewish bakers and eat it any time I couldnt be bothered to cook and in those days , with the hectic life I had then , that was pretty often . And since then peanut butter has been one of my default foods .
So , I have three theories going on . Either , I'm not intolerant to it , and its a double bind and at the end the research boss will write and say Ha! Youre actually allergic to eggs and green tea .
Or I do have an intolerance but its got sod all to do with your migraines ....
or Bingo ..... you are allergic and its causing your migraines and heres' the answer ... No more Nuts and your Problem is Solved . Now There would be a Thing .

The friend who ran away to the country

An email from the friend who ran away to the country . Despite her defection at the start of the summer we still haven't managed to meet . She talks of the need for a "quality gossip" so we arrange a visit for Sunday . Nat will come as she and J's two girls I am reliably informed regard themselves as quasi sisters . Nat has plenty of half sisters but quasi versions of the species are in very short supply. With the men and the dogs it is less simple . Gem is a young Border Collie , unable to take her eye off her ball for a second . She rarely relaxes . Alice on the other hand is a lazy greyhound , uncomfortable in other people's homes unless and until she has managed to check out the soft furnishings and preferably has been allocated one ( a three seater ? ) all of her own . She doesn't really do sharing . She is too tall and spiny and bony for sitting or lying comfortably on the floor or so she would have us believe , though she will do that under sufferance at the wine bar rather than stay at home . Therein our dilemma .
Likewise the men .
A is sporty , runs about everywhere very fast and is usually seen flashing past in streamlined ( steamlined ? ) gear . I can safely say I've never had a conversation with him although he is always genial and friendly en passant so to speak .
When the family lived opposite us in former times ( oh happy days ) I would see him unpacking the car after a trip up a walking tour to the top of an icicle on a mountain in the Far Reaches of Scotland . Out of the car would come neat packages of spiked boots and fearsome looking little tents , evil little hammers and suchlike . Nothing looked fur lined or warm . I saw no flasks or cosy sleeping bags or decorative lampshades or friendly pictures such as I would need if I were camping in the wilds . No hot chocolate or croissants or books by Nigella .
And A in the country is unlikely to be any different to A at the seaside .

D on the other hand is happier behind the wheel of his car than walking or running anywhere , or perhaps more likely quietly watching Sunderland on his computer so as not to disturb anyone on the TV , texting his son , a Newcastle supporter a few barbed comments if appropriate .
I still recall overhearing him announcing on the phone to his son that we were going out for a walk and his son aghast " A walk ? You ? Why ? "

Now we have Alice D loves to see her run and enjoy the open spaces . But I still can't quite see Gem and Alice and A and D together for the time it will take J and me to have the quality gossip she has in mind . And somehow I dont think anybody is going to be arguing with me ...

Things to do today Book

The "Things to do today " book is a great invention .
Its a book of lists with the date at the top , the action required down the centre , the priory afforded to the left and to the right a tick box where you get to tick when the action is completed .

Ive always wanted one and recently D bought me and my sister one ... Ive never looked back and Ive never been so organised . Then , crunch time . You start to reply on it .
Assuming this couple of days ahead was a quiet one , I left the book unopened , holding the info in my head that I was meeting Michaela for coffee and maybe even a cake to celebrate the loss of over a stone in weight ( Low carb diet I love you ! ... oh hang on , maybe a cake is not the way to celebrate ... ? ) . Whilst I was out she asked me what I was doing next Friday , I checked and realised that not only did I have two forgotten appointments for tomorrow , I had also double booked myself in the morning , all through failing to use my memory like I used to .
Something will have to give ..... one of my friends is attending a seven am Breakfast Meeting where she has to talk about herself for a Minute then eat a vile breakfast which she will have to pay a vast sum for . All in the interests of business networking . Sounds worse than Alcoholics Anonymous to me I must say . I'm glad they didn't invite me and that CatCalling isnt that sort of business ..... at seven am I'd be far too busy talking to cats and feeding them vile breakfasts ( if anyone was on their hols at this time of year which of course mostly they aren't ) .
So at seven am I shall still be safely dossing on the bed under a pile of my own cats waiting for Alice to surface ( lazy greyhound wake up call gets later and later on my non Day Job days ) , reading my novel " Oystercatchers" by Susan Fletcher , wondering did she push her sister and put her into the coma or what ? and hoping I can get to have coffee with Business Meeting friend and lunch with DayJob Inspector friend and still make it to the optician with nat after school . Good job I had to open that Things to do Book or I'd have been well and truly in the poop .
Dementia ? Moi ?

Clinkerage .

I tap away on my laptop as my sister appears with her breakfast bowl of yoghurt spikled with all manner of healthy nubbins , nuts and seeds . D is reading a paper at my side . I download photos of some fat Greggs pastie eating seagulls as seen by Laura and me last night on the pier ) . I draw D's attention to the missing Z key , hoping he will mount a search as he is far more meticulous than me . I have already mussed a few papers around half heartedly in the hearth to no avail , and scratched around in Pearl's nether regions lest it should be concealed therein .
" Sleep all right ? " I ask L half heartedly and then invite her to view the seagulls pictures . She and D exchange a Look . Sorry , I say , have I already asked that ?

D is on hands and knees and Pearl is following him around sniffing his face gingerly as he bends and stoops , hunting the missing letter .
I fetch myself Greek yoghurt with raspberries and blueberries and on my return the armchair next to the laptop station has been dismantled and is littered with detritus . My sister is straining to see a year' s accumulation of lost ear rings , nail files , sweetie papers , biscuit crumbs and other assorted crud . " What is that word for all that kind of stuff ? " she muses ....

" None of it is mine " I add helpfully
" Clinkerage ? " she offers ?
Clinkerage ? I am agahast .....

" You know , the stuff that falls under a fire , dust is involved , ash .... "

Crap ! offers D firmly , I would call it crap . By this time he is sweeping it firmly into a dustpan whilst we look on , our noses back in our Sunday magazines .

Laura gives the appearance of reading but I know her mind is on higher things .

Not for nothing the Scrabble Champion of the North of All England .

Has she eaten the Z key ?

Removed it for fun ?

Who knows ?

The cat has made off with my " z" ....

and the Spam folder has eaten Sillyak's comment again .

What a start to the week !