" Our fur is so lovely and soft .. and we don't bite , well we don't bite people anyway , just each other "

Cling On Wars ......

You may be able to work out the problem just by looking at the picture . But maybe not . Its simple , yet complicated all at once . Kitty , as the nurse told us , is a Big Girl . In fact , so big now that she lies on her back for comfort rather than on her belly . ( In primary school I had a " composition corrected when I used the word Belly , and the teacher wrote Tummy in red pen above , so now I use Belly as an act of defiance though I know its rather an outdated term. My grandparents had a farm . What can I say ? )

The vet tells us to make her diet , but this is tricky when we have three picky Birmans who we have to coax to eat . How do you deprive one and not the others ? I don't have the answer , short of making them live separately and my life is far too complicated already without cats holed up in different areas . We already have adult / teenagers with the demarcations that brings , not to mention cats/ greyhound etc etc .

In addition to the fat she is adding ( adding value I think its called in Business now ) there is also a large area of matted fur on her back , which started as a little area , which has matted because she can't reach that bit to lick and clean herself . And yes you're right , in theory we could groom her , take a brush or a grooming glove to that bit and un matt the fur , de tangle the hair and hey presto . But , youre not taking into account Kitty's personality which is the main issue here , or one of the main issues .

Kitty is a force to be reckoned with .

Suffice to say we had Kitty booked to be spayed at the vets several times over the years and cancelled simply because we were unable to transfer her into the cat basket by any means known to woman and daughter . We presented at the vets badly cut and scratched to explain our time wasting ... and they understood completely . In fact the vet emerged from his consulting rooms at the behest of the senior nurse and said he completely and absolutely agreed with our decision to leave her at home which was "safest for all ". He inspected our wounds and suggested we absolve ourselves from further responsibilities that day .

Occasionally I read reports of the RSPCA prosecuting cruel people who have neglected their pets and left them with tumours and illnesses and all manner of things and then sometimes , of people who are deemed cruel having left their pets with terribly matted hair and my eye catches Kitty's and we exchange a look and I try to at least run my hand over the area and she spits at me and I quail ...... and I blanche and I think the RSPCA would look at my other cats and the guinea pigs and the dog and they would see how they are all loved and they would see how Kitty would rip their throats out of they tried to assist her in any way and they would see how she stares adoringly at me each night as she peers over the top of my book as she weighs my chest down as we read together .... just so long as I leave her fur alone ......

Last night , I decided enough was enough , and declared war on the "cling on" . The huge lump of fur needed a name if I was to beat it and having called it a winnet for a while in my head I then googled the word ( dont ask why ) and realised I was barking up quite the wrong tree here as winnet refers only to the cling ons left behind after poor wiping practices . Having been brought up with a younger brother who was fascinated by such things and also being quite weak stomached himself firmly believed that such matters should be dealt with by the female members of the family if there were pets with such issues ( there frequently were as we had silly cocker spaniels with rather loose bowels ) .

I digress . I threw caution to the wind , took a very sharp pair of scissors , waited till Kitty had her nose in the trough so to speak , and cut into the edge of the cling on . Result . Kitty far too busy troughing to be bothered with what was going on behind her . I snipped away feeling very smug and managed to take away a sizeable piece of the lump . Snippety snip . A bit more . Kitty turned and lashed out . I retreated , patting her head to show we were still friends .

I informed D of my progress so far and he shot off upstairs , not to be out done , returning triumphantly and unmarked a few minutes later , having filled the food bowl in order to take another ball of fluff off her .

Where will it all end .?

If the blog comes to a sudden end , hey , it was nice knowing you all !

Greyhounds hate rain

Alice dug her heels in this morning and steadfastly refused to go out in the tipping rain . Can't say I blame her . She slept in , and it was me waking her at seven or therabouts .Usually once shes had a stretch , in slow motion and edged her way out of the blankets and off the sofa ( being tall she doesn't jump off , more steps off ) she s ok to head for the food cupboard to check on the Treats supply and then out into the yard for her ablutions .

But today the storm was raging and it was not to be . Even the guinea pigs kept their counsel as the back door nearly blew off its hinges and I apologised as I even suggested she pop out for a minute . She took one look , directing me mentally to the " greyhounds don't do rain " website , and in particular the section on "Building your rescue greyhound a rainproof walkway if he or she refuses to go potty in inclement weather " ( hang on , we barely have enough space out there to park the barbecue never mind build a walkway ) and turned tail and headed back to the sofa .

Several tries later , and much coaxing and distribution of small heart shaped snacks , I finally put my waterproof on over my bathrobe and step into D's size God knows what size trainers and step out with her into the yard .I put Alice's coat on too , in the interests of fairplay . We pace up and down in the rain for seven minutes , until finally D appears at the door and says .... I would give that a miss ..... What ? ( Grumpy ? Moi ? ) I say So we let her in and she heads straight for the carpet and ....

No he says calmly , we give her breakfast then she will go straight out ......

My hair is dripping , my feet are wet , my spirit and Alice's are both in tatters .

We go inside and she gives me a " no hard feelings " look .

She eats her beef mince and biscuits in half a minute , D opens the door , no coats , she trots out obediently , heads for the bottom of the yard , turns twice as usual and produces a gallon of wee .

Result !

She races back in true greyhound style and stands happily outside the treat cupboard for her reward then leans against me for a cuddle .

What a dog .......

My blog is now refusing to let me reply to comments . pah .

I feel a list coming on

I'm not a list person

Woke without a headache ( thats two days in a row ) , after an extensive dream of a childhood family acquaintance .
(Worked out how to spell acquaintance ) .
Walked the dog , prevented said dog from chasing small defenseless lap dog type dogs ( this is more and more of an issue as rescue greyhound increases in confidence . Climbed the 114 steps back to civilisation from the beach without suffering cardiac arrest or associated whatever . )
Topped up the water bed . ( Easier said than done . Say no more . I can't resist . This is a full scale operation complete with photographs and jokes about hearts and testicles . Not for the faint hearted . Water everywhere . Cats claws threatening the integrity of the mattress . We survived . The cat is purring in a a slightly sarcastic " you will pay " manner in her usual corner of the bed .
Baked a batch of Nigella pear and ginger muffins . Improvised greek yog with honey as no sour cream or honey . And although Nigella insists they are to be baked before breakfast and not to be confused with cake , mine have just emerged now from the oven and I am about to down several with mango tea .
I dont suppose my list is done yet but .....

... Typed up a training programme for some freelance work
Cleaned out the guinea pigs ( joint venture like the bed )
Read the papers
Finished Rough Music
Took Nat and me to get eyebrows waxed ( and remembered that the technical name for baking cases was not packing cases .... pre pre pre senile dementia bites again )
Bought baking cases at village shop .
Theorised privately about blogging and why people blog .
Cleaned bathroom .
Felt smug . ( list is usually , had headache so slept and took pills .)

Dog ? What Dog ?

Jess , back in the hot seat . Since the dog arrrived she has been wary of sitting still for long .

Kitty