Dog Fartiness

There is a horrid air of Dog Fartiness chez CatCalls this morning post Dog Walk ( yes Greyhound we're looking at you ) . I am expecting two separate series of friends this afternoon and then my sister and her son and his pal for the weekend . Harvey and Steven , who hails from Kielder , is allegedly quiet and wears a bandana ( so will get on famously with Alice ? but there we hope the resemblance ends .... we have enough trouble with flatulence already ) are unlikely to be bothered by the rotten eggs aroma but some of the other guests may take note , so I rack my brians ( or even my brains ) for a Kim and Aggie ( how clean is your house ? ) solution How Clean is Your House? - Kim & Aggie's Cleaning Advice from Channel4.com/4Ho and thus find myself at ten am sprinkling bicarbonate of soda mixed with essential oils ( cedarwood , eucalyptus , geranium , and a relaxing mix of ylang ylang and some other whose name now escapes me ) all of which I find nestling under the tv just waiting for the day when they can refresh the carpet .

Lovely ! Pearlie Birman pokes her head round the door alerted no doubt by the new aroma and looks on in amazement as I run around throwing white powder all over everything , and now I sit waiting for it all to penetrate before vacuuming . What could be simpler ?

And of course ... I catch sight of Alice's numerous beds , quilts , monkeys , dollies , teddies , pound puppies apporopriated from the cats , all looking a bit grubby so they are all tossed into the washing machine . Alice has closed her eyes firmly against the horror and is feigning sleep .

Why do you get migraines ?

Guilt is a wierd thing . Its one thing having another migraine day to fill in on my topamax calender ( it looks like a chequerboard , full of black and blue squares , though there was a lovely clear week recently , not sure what that was about but it was great ) but the add-on feelings of guilt are another thing altogether .

Alice and I didn't enjoy our walk today . She seems to pick up when I'm dragging , and on top of that it was windy and the wind makes her nervous . Her first week with us coincided with a windy spell and we could hardly get her out of the house . Scared of her own shadow the idea of squatting for a wee was terrifying with bits of twigs and leaves flying out of nowhere and coming at her from all angles . Now she's much braver but it doesn't take much to set her off course . It didn't help when I had a little vomiting episode out on the headland , and then sat for a while staring at the grass and wondering how I was going to make it home , my mouth dry and my legs shaky and the head pounding . But , make it home we did , and the thought of my bed full of cats and no other commitments that couldn't wait kept me going . And therein lies a tale .

As I climbed back into bed , and my head hit the pilow and the pounding was almost over due to the heavy duty pills but the sleep- need was overwhelming , I felt guilt like nothing else . Guilt that I'm ill once again . Guilt that I'm in bed rather than downstairs like normal people ( why I should give a stuff about this one I really dont know , but it always figures . )
Guilt above all else when people say to me , as they do on an almost daily basis , ok a weekly basis then
" Why do you get migraines ? "

Great question .
I wonder if its a question people get asked if they have arthritis say , or diabetes ?

I haven't a clue really . It could be hormones . It could be food intolerances . I don't eat lots of things I used to eat . It could be stress related . It could be that my brain is abnormal . It could be past head injury related . Etc .

Maybe I need to write an essay on the subject and hand it out , or refer to a website , or just say Google it . After all , I do this myself most weeks , hoping for an answer . So far I haven't found one , neither has my neurologist been able to give me one . But it was lovely when he( a fellow sufferer) said to me , smiling , " Don't you just hate it when people ask you over and over why you get them "
I wonder if he feels guilty ?

Norfolk church

Joan is back from her hols in Norfolk and sent this sunset over the church in Winterton on Sea .

Things are not good for Joan and her family but she wanted us to use the picture and she is in our thoughts .

" In my mind I'm going to Kitty Hawk "

Other people's blog posts sound so fascinating . I click on the one highlighted by Blogherads on my own blog , assuming its to do with a cat spitting , and find I am Quite Wrong . Sigh .

CatCaller learns to clip Piggy Toenails

Cleaning pigster cage this afternoon and notice both guinea pigs skipping about on long curly nails . Hmm , a visit from auntie Laura with the nail clipppers in her handbag long overdue , I decide the nails are Too Bad and settle myself with a towel on my lap , a pair of human nail clippers at the ready , greyhound watching at a safe distance , and specs on the end of my nose . I put off the evil moment by reading the Observer magazine from cover to cover then ask D to transfer Hedgehog , the Pig with whom I feel the strongest affinity ( and the one least likely to nip me ? ). H settles in happily for a cuddle then notices the tension mounting on my face and looks up at me . Alice looks at me too . D starts hoovering indoors . Great !
I pick up the clippers , take a tentative grip on Pig's foot , which she immediately snatches back , affronted , and tucks in under her extensive tummies , three warning grunts letting me know where I stand .
Hmm . ( again ) .
The neighbours are in their yard too , obviously reading and talking about something soothing and easy , Sunday -like . I wish I was them .
Alice glances at me . Now what ?
Now what indeed ?
I breathe in and out , deeply and start again . That last effort didnt happen . It is a new toe nail .

I put down the clippers and stroke Piggy gently .. she wiggles and settles . The sun shines on us both and the cloud slips away . This is better . This we can both do . Alice sinks down onto her towel , and sighs heavily . No sweat .

I breathe again . I remind myself about this breathing . Maybe I should be doing this more often . Its really quite relaxing , de stressing . Hedgehog shuffles further , presses against me , she is so so sweet . I am tempted to throw the clippers to the bottom of the yard , settle in myself and snooze off in the sun ... but where would that leave us . Get a grip woman !

I slide my hand round again for that little elusive foot ... where is it hidden now ?

I am seven years old , in my grandma's hen house , helping her collect eggs from the nesting boxes , from under the hens , who are sitting on top of the eggs . Horrors , my hand has to go in under the hen to get the egg . I stand there dithering , scared , whilst my sister , aged five , ever feistier than me , shoots in the hand, grabs the egg and brings it out , triumphant ,and then tries to explain how to do it : " Just put your hand in , quick ! " . I try , half hearted , and the hen , sensing my panic , stabs at me with her pointy beak , her wattles shaking in disgust .

Here I am again , trying to hold the guinea pig's foot with courage and confidence and I am seven again and how many times have I watched Laura do it with ease , hold the foot , steady the toes even as the pig kicks , clucking reassuringly and snip ! the nail is history !

I can do it ! I can ! I will .

Alice raises herself again to watch and I catch her eye .

I have a plan . Pig and I are going to relax for ten minutes , then when she is relaxed , I am going to snip off a tiny bit of the nails without holding the feet , which is what is making us anxious .
The feet are beginning to splay out from under her as she is settling and falling against me , and in a few minutes I will just slide the clippers against each nail and trim off a tiny bit . There is no question . It is going to be a success.

And there you have it .

We succeed .

Alice smiles at me .
Hedgehog is a relaxed Pig and Tinkerbell can't wait for her turn ......

Phew !

Sometimes

Its hard to write sometimes when all I want to do it read read read ....

I have piles of books and there are so many blogs out there and I'm caught up in stories of lives which seem so infinitely more than mine ....at the moment I can't resist a daily glimpse of Heidi One more little person joins us.... reminding me of how it is to be a brand new parent , followed immediately by a glance to see how Tricia is faring at Confessions Of A CF Husband which sometimes leads me into other CF blogs ( today I discovered that a 12 year old girl whose blog I started reading the day before yesterday , died yesterday haley) and there you see what I mean .

It seems too trite to be writing about walking the greyhound and putting up pictures of cats and letters to the Hexham Courant ( which they failed to publish ) about their biased reporting of the incident in court last week blah blah .

But hopefully this will pass.

Meanwhile , no headache for two whole days . And the research questionnaires arrived and have been completed and returned .

Were it Not For ........

This morning , sunny and warm , I walk back through the village with the dog , having watched her splashing in the shallows at the sailing club beach , chasing her ball at the headland , seen her half heartedly chase a big poodle on the short clipped grass where the daisies are pushing through , and watched her come back when asked . She stays close when big dogs look scary and little dogs threaten to bite. She no longer wants to waken me at six am for her first wee of the day , in fact she often has to be coaxed from her bed and in the direction of breakfast .

The village is bliss in the sun , a slight breeze stirring the hanging baskets and we are known by more and more people through having our tiny greyhound ...

Life would be perfect .....were it not for my banging head , my drugged up side effects in evidence even on the days my head is not hurting .

But ( for everyone ).... there is always a were it not for ......

And for some people it is ... having three months left to live

Needing a transplant

Living with violence

etc etc

and ..... there are moments like this , at the end of a headache filled day , when I have swallowed my pills and the head is numb .... Bliss indeed ......

And there are whole days when my head is clear .

And there is that cute dog .....