Day to day musings of a cat minder/ sitter in North Tyneside and Newcastle upon Tyne . For details of services go to http://www.catminders.biz

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Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Why do I never Learn ?

Long session at the Day Job on Monday with lunch provided ... sandwiches with butter which I can't eat ( so I didn't) and things on sticks and quiche , which I did . Three quarters of the way through quiche , deep in conversation ( about greyhounds .. what else ) , sudden realisation , quiches are made of eggs , mostly . Eggs for me spell Migraine ... Uh-Oh ....... too late ..... tell myself it will be fine . For years I ate loads of eggs with no problems , I've been fine the last few days blah blah .

Rest of the day: no problems .

By nine pm , trouble is brewing . Pain building in my neck , flashes in the eyes , starting to yawn and generally feel wierd . It can't be the egg: can it ?
I know it is , though I go into denial for a few minutes before taking myself off with the latest wonderdrug , the Maxmelt ...this is the one that's so hard to get out of the foil packet that if I'm anywhere beyond minute one of a migraine it completely defeats me .

I swallow the wafer and settle against the pillows in bed . Three cats have beaten me to it and Toby budges up to let me into my spot . I pick up a book having found I'm quicker to fall asleep , even with a throbing head , if I can sit propped up and read for a few minutes . If I lie flat the pain is greater and sleep comes less readily . Toby wiggles closer and then settles his head onto my arm and purrs . This is the first time he has done this and I feel oddly moved . Pearl , whose favourite spot is the corner of the bed , where she pushes the pillows to one side to make sure she is against the hot mattress ( the water bed is permanently heated but the other cats stay on top of the duvet and don't get the full benefit of the heat ) looks across as I start to move around and she comes over and burrows under the duvet and turns twice like a dog making a nest , settling herself against my thigh . Soon she is purring with a high pitched whine , almost a crooning which she does when life is pleasing her more than usual . I am soon asleep in an upright position , rambling as is the norm when D comes to check on me , subject matter monkeys and departments . Occasionally I see him laughing and even laugh myself , recognising my own disconnectedness , but unable to make sense .
The following day I am out of action to the extent that I miss Holby City .
I vow another egg will not pass my lips . It's hard though , when I'm distracted and they masquerade as other things .
I have an obsession with Onken Greek style yoghurt with honey just now . It is a rich cream coloured stuff like smooth rich ice cream with non of that off white sheepiness of some Greek youghurts .
I shall stick with that .
Oh yes and green olives . Which Iam still obsessed with .

Today despite being slightly hung over with migraine drugs , I had to drive to the ofice in D' s sporty type car with no gear stick . ( Described thus as I have forgotten the name for a car that is the opposite of manually driven though I know it has a name ) . D's daughter and her partner and two year old daughter have had to take flights to New Zealand today and he has driven them to Manchester airport needing my car for its luggage space etc . What should have been an exciting trip was never going to be straightforward as they were going to introduce their daughter to her grandfather , who had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer .
But the awful tragic news came yesterday morning that he had rung the previous night to another family member to say he didn't know whether he would make it till they got there ( their flights were booked for three weeks time ) and then that he died yesterday . So they are making the journey now for a different reason .
Life is such a strange thing at times ......how things work out , or seem not to work out .Some days I think things happen for a reason , but its hard when we have no idea what that reason is . And sometimes things can seem so cruel that to suggest there is a reason can seem callous or crass . Other days I believe there is neither rhyme nor reason to anything . And then there is the law of Karma .
Whatever is operating here , I drove with a sick anxiety this morning and I guess their long journey will be undertaken with a much greater sense of what they are heading towards .
I hope that even in the midst of loss there will be happy moments and joy for them all.

Memories of arriving in Germany at the age of seventeen to stay with my German penfriend for a few weeks . Shortly before I arrived her father's body was recovered from the Rhein , missing for weeks after suicide . This was one of the happiest holidays of my life , something of the deep sadness and sense of loss seeming to bring us all closer ?

1 comment:

BetteJo said...

Oh, loss and joy. They do go together sometimes. But just the way they sound - the only thing that goes with a migraine is a soft spot to lay your head and a kitty to snuggle with.

Hope all is well!

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