Northumbria Police

A letter arrives from Northumbria police addressed to me and D pales .
Those longstanding followers of the blog will recognise that his keen interest in performance cars is also linked with a tendency for Speed which has not gone unremarked by more than one police force in the North of England and only last year I accompanied him to a hearing which might have resulted in the loss of licence . However he escaped by promising to turn over a new leaf and indeed selling the WRX Impreza .
Thus his fear that he may have again exceeded the limit , this time in my car .
I opened the letter with curiosity . Anyone who knows me will confirm that my driving speeds are twofold , slow and slower . I reduce obsessively to 30mph when anywhere near houses , streets , shops or people . The advertising campaign with the little girl telling us she dies if we hit her at forty mph worked for me . That coupled with the fact that I was myself hit by a car as a toddler is enough to slow me almost to a standstill at times .
So , what a shock ! the speeding was my misdeameanour , last Friday , when I drove out of Haydon Bridge at 35mph .
D's colour returns and he offers his genuine condolences about my bad luck , how unfair it is that I am to be prosecuted when only five over the limit etc , blah blah . But he can't help grinning with relief that this time its not him and .... even possibly some slight amusement that its Ms Holier Than Thou to face the music .
For half an hour I'm mortified , then I see the funny side . But from now on my driving will be Even Slower .