Cantankerous and Perimenopausal ?

Perusing my headache diary for light relief this evening , and pausing to colour in another few squares in light purple , the colour for " mild headache " , I note that I have not in fact been headache free for some ten days now . Neither wonder I feel like stuffing an old corgi down someone's throat and saying Oops sorry I can't let you have a pain killer ,they're restricted . Only five per month then better just to sleep it off , or you are sure to suffer rebound heads . So sorry .

Bitter and twisted ? Me ? Cantankerous and perimenopausal ( surely not ? ) more like . Either way I'm angry at the wrong person here , the consultant at the end of the day being the person who is trying to assist . But who am I supposed to be angry with ? It reminds me of that Buddhist story of the boat in the mist coming straight at you and you get really narked with it then as it crashes into you and you start mouthing off at it you realise the boat is empty . And your anger dissolves ..... the boat just hit you but .. so what .....

So , after a great start this morning , when after my rant of last night , I felt great , and my headache was less , and I felt like I could take on the world , and I photographed a few erections ( see my previous post ) and then I went to the dentist and didn't need a filling just had a scrape and polish ( oops scale and polish ) , and then after a fun meeting in town with a prospective work contact ( the head still banging ) , I started theorising again .
Why all these heads ?
Why ?
Why me ?
Why now ?
Why these last few months can I barely recall a head free week ?
What is going on ?

And as ever I look for new theories . We all do it ( I suppose ? ) .... one week its food intolerances . Next week its stress . Then it's my hormones . Next its the heat . Or the cold . Pollen . The sea . The city . Blah blah . Today Im on wifi , after reading a blog where someone casually mentioned a headache linked with their wireless network .
I'm on a mission now to get us switched off . But I know for a fact that even if we switch off ours , we can access about three of our neighbours' .... a thing we wouldn't of course do ( haha ) but if we in theory could, then in practice it means it is still whirring round my head at all hours of the night and day .
Proof ! No wonder I am a walking wrecklet .

I google "wireless networks and headaches" .

Whilst there I discover a new theory . This one is called "muscular convergence insufficiency of the eyes leading to diplopia ". I have made a note of it . By tomorrow ( when I have time to research it ) I will probably have this condition too .
It causes headaches so bad that people have been known to be admitted to hospital and is frequently misdiagnosed as migraine . I rest my case .

Too shy to Paddle

Alice was too shy to paddle when she moved in with us . Now she does paddling and barking and wagging her tail and lounging happily in wine bar doorways . She really is the perfect greyhound .

Ingrid Betancourt Freed

The good news is coming thick and fast at the minute ....

BBC NEWS Americas Colombia hostage Betancourt freed

Early Morning Erections in the Mist

We have Art in our midst again in Tynemouth and very nice too , though this morning the mist made it a little tricky to appreciate . And truth to tell from a distance the installations look a little like tellytubby whatsits , but no matter , they had everyone and his neighbour's dog talking . The four structures represent the salmon's journey up the Tyne and more pictures may follow tomorrow . The one in red represents the eggs ( of course , what else ) , the woody one at the top the fins .

My post yesterday about the duck egg and the omen is all coming true . Besides the lottery win ( teeny tiny so far but its a start ) , I heard last night that two of my friends have been matched to adopt at last ... such amazing news . They've been waiting to be parents for a while and are now a step closer to having two little ones move in with them . More on this when there is more news .

And after a bit of a rant last night about my consultation yesterday with the migraine specialist ( which left me feeling less than hopeful ) , in stark contrast to the last visit six months ago when I saw his registrar , a fellow sufferer who was far more human , spoke to me like a person with half a brain and actually gave me some strategies rather than asking me why I have taken eight doses of pain killer this month ? " er excuse me because I had severe headache .... ? what would you have done ? ( Yes , its a tricky one but the maximum recommended number you should use per month is five ) ... and when I've had five then what ? Sleep it off ...... "yes , would truly love to always do that , but I have to work , have a child to care for blah blah , and with maybe fifteen days of headache a month its a lot of time to be in bed ? I will lose my job "

I was going to say after a bit of a rant last night I feel much better . I fully recognise that it must be irritating to be a doctor and unable to "cure" a problem but ......

Several things this morning have made me laugh ...... one was Carol Midgely's article in the Times about the no frills airlines ..... finding myself abroad and with no flight home has never happened to me , maybe I've been incredibly lucky but her descriptions made me laugh out loud so I attach a link for you all Nightmare on easyJet: what happens when your no-frills flight becomes a no-fli hope you enjoy .

Good omen ?

Every morning we follow the same procedure , which involves dropping a newspaper through our lovely neighbour Bett s door . Alice trots up the garden path and sniffs about her garden checking for cat smells and whatnot as we post the paper . This morning she stopped and blew out curiously at something on Bett's garden path ... Wow ... look at this Alice has found a duck egg right in the middle of a seaside garden ! the egg was broken and smelly , its innards clearly addled . Bett appeared and we all stared in amazement . Too big to have been delivered by one of the many neighbourhood cats , one of which was clambering up into Bett's arms as we spoke . A fox was considered , we often see and hear urban foxes but there was no tell tale smell of fox .
We decided that as Bett is such a wonderful person the egg was left there as a precious gift , some kind of good omen . And went on our way .

Later , I received a letter . I won a tenner on the lottery . Maybe the message was for me .

Seagull Splatt

My car is still semi knackered due to an excess pouring in of oil when in fact oil was not required . I mis read the warning lights in a mild panic at the side of the road on Wednesday night but then I was on the side of a dual carriageway with CatCalls awaiting me ( two delightful cats with a hefty litter tray ) , a migraine chugging away in the background trying to rise above the Topamax and rain threatening in the rush hour traffic .

Admit it , it could happen to anyone . I pay the AA two hundred pounds a year to come and rescue me in such circumstances but when the head is banging one really cannot face a stranger with his kindness and his questions and having to put together a coherent sentence and be polite sometimes defeats me .

So instead I called D and like the knight in shining armour he is , he rolled up bearing oil and with the dog in the back of his car ( a strict no-no due to his smart leather seats and said Dog's long pointy claws ) and following my instructions and without questioning my belief that the light which had ignited was the oil warning light , poured in oil .

He then handed me the book which explains what the lights mean and I realised that it was indeed a "toxic fumes warning light"... oh poop. However as the oil had disappeared down the tubes D confirmed that the car did indeed need it , so as I drove home at a snail's pace and the car was still chugging and sputtering and refusing to rise above thirty mph , asked him to add more . He gallantly took me the rounds of my CatCalls , poured in oil , checked levels later and looking rather anxious stated that now we seemed over rather than under the limit .

Car was then handed over to mobile mechanic , who discovered a coil pack was the issue , fixed it and didnt mention oil .

Today , car was booked in to Renault dealers to have mirror fault recall rectified . Apparently it is likely to set car door on fire if this is not fixed ( though has not done so in previous five years ? ) , but whilst Renault folks had the car in their grasp they kindly did a " safety check " and now tell me my car has twice the required level of oil in it blah blah . Yes yes I say wearily and D says Yes yes , a mistake .

The point of this rather wearying tale is that Nat and I get to take D' s rather dashing little car out with us when we go shopping for her suitcase for her upcoming holiday to Europe's finest destinations . Regular blog readers will recall my difficulties with the automatic transmission of his previous sporty car , but Nat is in control now and manages to multi task , calling her chums on my mobile while issuing instructions at the same time as I gingerly stare at the- thing- which resembles- a- gear- stick ...

" No Mum .... No ..... D not P when you want to move forwards P means park not drive ...... " in a soothing yet warning voice ...... Sorry Paige just sorting my mum out here ...... "

Its a while since I have driven this particular car . I love it and am actually quite keen on it but there is this tendency to scrape the wheels ( sorry alloys ) and recently D has taken to chauffering me round if there is a need rather than simply handing over the keys . But today Nat and I needed some bonding time , and this was achieved in delightful fashion over a huge pink glitter suitcase , a mango frappucino in Starbucks and a quick drive poseur style along the seafront just in case any of her pals should be out .... ( or mine come to that ) .

Happy Days .

And to think it was only six hours ago that a massive seagull splatt narrowly missed landing on my head in the village . What a portent !

Pema Chodron post ! Oh NO !

Oh NO !
Idly flicking through my own post ( who does that ... what a saddo .... ) I realised the names of the books were highlighted at Amazon . I clicked and Guess what ? Had a I written about them , then purchased, I could have obtained a used copy at Amazon for £2 something very little . pah ! I paid something sky high like £ 8.99 . Times two books means almost twenty quidlets . Not that I'm a cheapskate or anything . But pah and double pah !

My car has just cost £ 116 and several pence for a new coil pack .
Oh well , its just money and as I must remind myself , If I re read Esther and Jerry Hicks , all you have to do is Ask and You will be Given , metaphorically if not in real shiny notes .
Though those might come in handy as well , sometimes .