Emergency Care Unit

D is perturbed that he is the subject of a blog , which becomes apparent when a reader texts me to ask how he is .
I tell him not much personal information has been revealed .
When I arrive at the Emergency Care Unit where he is transferred finally , I am moved by the level of support offered by a fellow patient who teaches me how to help him transfer out of a hospital issue gown into his own t shirt/pj top ( purchased for his recent trip to Spain no less ) including the threading through of a drip bag via two sleeves. I may be expert at report writing and standing up in court and holding my own . I am certainly proud of my skills in soothing the nervous cat but my spatial awareness skills are cr*p and that drip bag and its wires are all over the place .
Our neighbour is kindness itself and finally comes over to help . "I know exactly how to do this " he offers "I've had to do this all too often myself " . It is visiting time on the unit when D is admitted and I notice that not one of the men has a visitor , so when I return a couple of hours later I am pleased to see his wife and son there and they give us a cheery wave .

To D's right is a man approaching ninety, W, who is delightful , and explains that latterly he has lost something and can't always recall everything . I know the feeling . He is speaking of course of his memory . By the following morning D is feeling a little better and has taken on the role of mentor and general assistant to W and his pal across the way who is also unable to walk , pinned to his bed by a series of drips and catheters but is clearly in discomfort and rises frequently trying to set off using his tray on wheels as a makeshift zimmer frame .
I am present when W's family arrive and a young doctor engages them in a family conference behind the curtain . There is little privacy anyway but W is unhappy that we are being excluded and attempts to pull back the curtain so that he can check details with D from time to time " Can you just confirm for me where we are ? We are in a privately run hotel here aren't we ?" he asks D .... " They are trying to tell me this is a hospital " he announces with a laugh . D responds firmly " Yes this is a hospital , a very well run hospital but a hospital no less " with the air of one who has answered a number of such queries .
W's wife is patient but firm and points out that he has already checked this point several times .
When W emerges later he notes the cat at the end of D's bed ( pointing at his feet ) and asks how many cats we have . When we tell him he says he has sixteen at home though I am not convinced on this point .

He reminds me so much of my granddad , courteous , conversational , delightful , aware at some level that things are not quite adding up .

I arrive again later and everyone is traumatised.
A man who has just been admitted was eating dinner , joining in the conversation, and started to cough . D ran for a nurse when problems developed and the curtains were pulled round all the men leaving them all in their separate isolation staring at nothing and guessing at what was happening . When the curtains went back , the man and his bed were gone and the staff were clearly upset . The man's death has an impact on them all and I wonder how any of them will sleep that night . In fact I hear later they don't .

PS Thanks for messages of support . D Still waiting for more tests and diagnosis . And no doubt wishing I would write about my Christmas shopping ... what Chrismas shopping ?

Sanctuary Weekend ..Not quite

Friday morning ... wake spookily early . Interesting shapes in the room- little overnight bags half packed- we are off at lunchtime to Ambleside in the Lakes for a weekend of luxury in a cottage on a hill with log burning stove , several large bedrooms and a huge garden . Alice is coming too though under strict instructions not to sleep on the beds or climb about on the sofas. Greycotes, Ambleside - a stunning holiday cottage in the heart of the English. I will finish my Christmas shopping , or , in some cases , start it . And , there is more . D has booked me , Nat and her friend into a spa for the day on Saturday . We have chosen our treatments . All we need to do is wake up on time . Day Spas Lake District, Day Spa Cumbria, Health Spas Lake District, Spa Day Pa

Why then am I awake so early ? D is sitting bolt upright in bed and looks unhappy . He is hunching forwards . To cut a long story short , after an hour or so , I am clad in bathrobe , dripping wet , hair wrapped in towel , and he is not arguing when I suggest calling an ambulance . This cannot be happening . I say to myself . " Dialling now . I am dialling 999 " And it is true , I am now dialling 999 and I notice from some other part of my being that on my mobile phone as I dial 999 a little red ambulance appears on the screen . How fascinating is that ?
A man asks me a lot of questions and wants to speak to the patient who is now out of action . We follow his instructions and Nathalia mixes aspirin in the kitchen and we open the front door to the ambulance crew. Again I watch from afar as they press against the staircase as Alice bounds past them . These are people who have been bitten by dogs , I think to myself . She is friendly , I say . they press on , to look for the patient .
They lead him to the ambulance and suddenly , he is gone .
I dress . Nathalia fills my bag with water , a kit kat , hands me D's coat , and tells me she will take care of the dog . How did she know about the water and the kit kat ? Many hours later , I am overcome with gratitude.
I drive slowly to the hospital , assuming I will find him cross in A and E , keen to get off for the weekend .
I look around for him and am ushered through to the admissions suite .
I announce my name . I am shown to the Relatives Room, where the doctor will come and find me . I sit . Nothing . Ten minutes elapses. I stare into space . I start to wonder . I stand and begin to wander out into the area beyond . I do not want to be in the Relatives Room . I want to see him and to be on our way thank you . I want this to be over . It was me who suggested coming here , maybe I made a mistake and I should have let him stay at home ? I want to see him now .. why I am diverted to this room ?

The doctor appears and asks me to follow her and fires questions at me ... I am led through into a Rescuscitation room . I feel slightly odd myself when I see him . He is on a trolley hunched forward , not the same person I last saw at home . I am asked " Is this how he usually looks ? Is this his usual colour ? "
Not at all , I say ... he is far paler . Someone brings me a chair quickly but I dont sit . They are trying to manipulate his veins but to no avail . Many tests are done.
We are there from 8 am until 4pm . He is seen by four consultants . The diagnoses change by the hour . Morphine does not seem to help with his pain . It is hard to watch , hard for me to witness , unbearable for him to suffer and a challenge for the medics who cannot work out what is going on .
Eventually he is moved to an Emergency Care Unit .
Still in pain . Still not much further forwards as regards a diagnosis .
But we have seen the NHS at its best in mobilising tests and in the levels of care offered by staff .

Normal Service ..

Normal service , whatever that is , will be resumed soon . Meanwhile , you might like to watch Simon's Cat slithering in the snow which is what Ive been doing today whilst visiting my friend with TB and sneaking about trying to Christmas shop with her nose and mouth covered with a scarf . She 's been told its perfectly safe and her infectious phase which only really affects close contacts anyway is over very soon .
Here is Simon's Cat. YouTube - Simon's Cat 'Snow Business' (Part 1)

Urban Fox?

Posted on Twitter today .. I hope you can click to enlarge ...

Bjorn is heading for Italy now ....

Talk Fusion Studio UTC Bjorn is moving from Spain now to Italy and looking for places to stay and always for more football shirts .... if you can help please contact at http://www.theshirt2010.com/ .
Watch his interview on Spanish tv by clicking the first link . By the way if you keep watching he replies in English . We cheer him on on his journey from Oslo to South Africa and hope he stays safe and warm across the winter months .

Masked Gowned and Gloved .. an Hour Too Late

After my friend with the horrid cough and Tb in her lungs these past twenty years is finally admitted to hospital after a relapse and some nasty symptoms I eventually manage to gain admission to her room . This is no mean feat as for several days though she has a bed , always in a room in isolation , the room changes with the day . Initially she is On Admissions . Then , curiously , she is parked on a Plastic Surgery Ward . From my point of view , the saving grace is that she seems able to use her mobile phone and sends the occasional update regarding the sorry state of affairs pertaining to her treatment or lack thereof .
She lies in state , exhausted and losing all manner of essential bodily fluids from her lungs and we remain convinced her TB is reactivated from our reading many years earlier of "The Plague and I" by the Great Betty McDonald who taught us all we know about consumption .
When I am finally admitted all my worst fears are confirmed . Not only has she lost weight despite continuing to eat with her usual appetite , but she is hectic in appearance, and frequently coughing red into her handkerchiefs . I am reminded of the elusive fey girlfriend character in the crumbling hotel in "The Troubles" by JG Farrell and we take mutual delight in the benefits of our learning from our Humanities based education all those years ago .
We appear , indeed , to have more of a grasp of TB than the consultant who with her science based education is still going down the bronchiechtasis route at this point . ( A spell check later may result in a correction. Nope , I had it right . How's that ? ) .
I announce myself on the respiratory ward and gain admission quickly . The consultant is polite and smiles a lot at me .
It is about half an hour after I enter the room that the nurses appear and ask me to exit the room and re enter wearing the mask , gown , and gloves , all of which have to be found from a far distant cupboard . Hopefully I have not been infected during that initial half hour window .

Ms CatCalls goes to a Dinner Party

Cinammon and mixed spices drift about and settle around the house and my tapas dinner party and litter tray headache gently evaporate as I write.
The morning started late as I fell into bed just short of two am after weaving my way home through the late night police cars and taxis that patrol our streets , amazed at the level of surveillance out there . The police raid I seem to have stumbed upon yesterday may be part of something bigger as the police helicopter was also out and about .. maybe some drugs raiding taking place .

I wonder if the dinner party format is really me . I am more of a one to one person or a very tiny gathering person (as in one to two) unless the party is entirely made up of family members of people I know well but its good to do something different once in while and interestingly I was one of the last to leave and probably the only person there who knew no one apart from my hosts ( and attended without a partner) whereas the others were mainly in attendance in pairs . But I do know my hosts very well indeed therefore the undercurrents were fascinating and the twenty four million courses were amazing !

There has been a theme these past few weeks for me of recognising that in reality my life though seeming at times to be sliding into chaos , is rather the opposite in contrast to how others manage their affairs . I have heard recently , thanks to the refreshing openness of others , about friends who have lost train ticks and had to rebook business tickets to the tune of almost two hundred pounds , and last night a family trip to Cuba for four where the day of travel was missed thus costing almost two thousand pounds.

Suddenly my medication and query age related slips seem minor ..... the wrong word comes out ? Hey , who cares ? My daughter writes on Facebook that she was "in a proper good mood until her mother came by and p*ssed in her cornflakes !" ( Actually I thought that one was quite witty ). I forget to return to my car at the appointed time outside work and get a parking ticket .... so what ? It could have been Cuba I will tell myself in future .

And something about doing things differently seems to be what this November is about . I am usually a last minute person but this year I find myself soaking my fruit for my Christmas cake this weekend and today the cake is baking as I write . And whats more I am trying a different recipe . How about "with a hint of chocolate?" Though I conclude that grating Green and Black's dark chocolate with a lack of sleep ( rather than alcohol induced) hangover is much over rated.... still its the result that count . I shall as I usually say keep you posted .

Meanwhile my friend is still in hospital though the staff have she reports closed her door ( and she wonders why ... I have told her she needs to look to her personal habits ) they no longer approach her fully masked and gowned which must be progress and seem to indicate that her TB is not considered Active . She awaits a CT scan . I expect she will wait till Monday at least .

The rain is almost horizontal .
And the dog is blowing a gale .