The Dangers of Self Diagnosis

Yesterday morning saw me up and dressed by seven thirty and in Borders bookshop and drinking coffee and reading three books ( not simultaneously ) in Starbucks by ten or therabouts . My treat after a stressful week and a celebration of the no headache fact . The books were carefully chosen , one about the m word , one about thyroid problems and the third a how to live with teens book written as a joky story by a parent .

Oh the dangers of self diagnosis . I was fairly sure in my analysis that I had an underactive thyroid . It all fitted , my freezing cold hands on the hottest of days , my tendency to fall fast asleep at six pm not waking till six am if given half a chance , my hoarse voice ( ok maybe I imagined that one having read the symptom on Google ) , the headaches ( no mention of migraines but I ignored that ) . I glossed over the symtoms that didnt quite fit , as you do , the " expressionless face " ( well maybe I have that and hadn't noticed and its hardly something people will point out ) , the dry skin , the acne , the menstrual cramping , the constipation , the hair falling out ( there was a chunk in the shower drain the other day just before we went on holiday and my hair does feel quite thin ? ) the excema , the weight gain . Anyway the list goes on ....

But , there you go , when I spoke to the GP on Friday she kindly informed me that contrary to my own view , science had proved that my thyroid is working just fine and the real problem ( if you can call it that ), is that my body is doing just what it should and I am in fact menopausing as we speak .

Well , I was flabbergasted .

Having been informed by my good sister ( who is very knowledgeable on all such matters ) that I was in the perimenpause long since , at which I blew a loud dismissive raspberry , I have been apparently In Denial that I too am going to menopause like every other woman in the land who reaches a certain age . But not yet .. I say .
I have surely only just grown up last week .
That's as may be but here we are and the evidence is catalogued in the lab . My blood sample has given me away .

Having got over my shock I am now feeling quite excited . The sooner it starts in earnest the sooner it ends and along with it these migraines ? And as I have no other symptoms to speak of I should be glad , notwithstanding my rather inadequate memory and my general irritations with everyone except myself ( and including myself some days ) .

I should add that besides bringing these glad tidings the GP did make several other useful suggestions , including the news that she and her colleagues have unearthed another neurologist in the region and I am now headed in his/her direction , and we shall then seek a gynaecology opinion as to whether a hysterectomy would be of any assistance to my plight . Any advice / knowledge from readers gratefully received .

Its all a far cry from cat yodelling !

Cat Yodelling

I must draw your attention to Sillyak's blog and in particular today to his post on Cat Yodelling . He doesn't post every day so I tend to have a catch up read once a week . When I initially discovered his blog I went back to the beginning and read what I think of as " his fascinating childhood posts ". I love rading backwards and given my Day Job which involves a level of backwards delving its inevitable that I would enjoy all that . But all I can say about cat yodelling is it made me squeal with laughter .
I know without a shadow of a doubt that you wouldn't try it in my house . Heavy Duty Bandages and Iodine would be required . And probably rightly so . My cats are treated with the utmost respect , like the demi -gods they believe themselves to be , and Alice the skinny greyhound curls her nose and turns away in disgust when she wintnesses us interacting with them . It is almost beyond her to watch . Occasionally her head burrows under the nearest cushion in facilitation of such avoidance . The cats meanwhile glance in her direction as they prance and preeen .
But as I watch Cat Yodelling Silliyak: Cat Yodeling 1A it is one of the funniest things I have seen since Bettejo posted Simon's cat some time ago YouTube - Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do'. So if youre in the mood for some cat laughs ....

Not looking for a Miracle or anything ?

I am forever devising new systems for recording my health / wellness as opposed to my migraines and illness . I started making in highlighter pen in my handbag diary the days I didnt have a headache rather than the days I did . felt a more positive approach somehow to record something good rather than something bad .

Last week I was delighted to have five days clear of headaches and terrific that was too .

This week however , after an excellent weekend , and a good Monday , something set me off around four pm on Monday and I was in bed almost as I came in from the Day Job , working on Tuesday , retiring at five thirty , and finally presenting a training session at work on Wednesday though a clashing head . Having decided at the end of last week that things needed to change , I saw my GP who suggested blood tests and Tuesday evening brought a letter from her asking me to contact her to discuss the results . Sounds ominous as we had already agreed that I would ring her on Friday to plan the next step once the results were in . I'm assuming the tests have thrown up something , and as usual , feel highly optimistic ! ( I should find out on Friday )

At last ! Something has shown up which will be simple and fixable ! It will be a minor imbalance which has been building up for some time , undetectable until now , and now its been picked up , there will be a simple treatment which will almost immediately make me feel ninety per cent better .
Soon I will be up until midnight like I used to be .
Contributing to the fullest extent at work the way I wish I could every day rather than once in a while , the way I did a few years back .
Staying awake past six o clock .
Having the enrgy to do all the things with N that she wants me to do .
Feeling alive again .
Waking the dog every day like I used to .
Not looking for a miracle or anything am I ?

Trapped Cat Food

Regular followers of the blog will know that Trapped Wind has been an issue of late .

Alice the not so skinny greyhound however ( not ,latterly, the main sufferer ) disappeared upstairs this afternoon and many scraffling and ferreting noises were heard . When she failed to reappear I went in search and was amazed to find her located to the side of rather than on top of the ( hot ) water bed and with her front legs ( arms ) round a large floor cushion , a pained expression on her face . She appeared happy enough and refused to accompany me back to rejoin family life ( drinking coffee and eating a batch of Rocky Path , a faulty version of Rocky Road made with substandard marchmallows which refused to stick together ) .

Hmm said D , I can tell you what's up with her , Cat Food , thats what ...

Trapped Cat Food , in fact . Causing tummy pains .

She gets it most days , when Kitty doesnt get there quick enough .

Mind you Kitty looks like she's surviving just fine .

Holidays ? No Thanks !

D , being a tidy soul , took N's suitcase from her room this morning ready to place back in storage and left it on the attic stairs for a while in transit .

Alice , spying it there , got the wrong idea , and climbed onto the bed and produced a series of escalating howls .

Ok Alice , we get the picture . You love Auntie Laura taking care of you , but would quite like us to stay at home for a while longer before our next trip .

TS Eliot

One of those blissful moments last night when , for reasons best known to myself , I was settling down , ten minutes after time , to switch on Big Brother , ( Big Brother , please , why ? I really do not watch this monstrosity these days ) .
But right on or rather after cue , there I was , fiddling with the remote controls , wondering if this was the day the Freeview box would , as it has been threatening for weeks , blow up once and for all .

And , into the mix , a text from my sister , am I watching the programme on TS Eliot ? I stare at the text in disbelief . TS Eliot ?
TS Eiot ? On our tv screens ? Those screens which show nothing but trash to the extent that I rarely peruse the guides these days ..... TS Eliot whose poems like most other sixteen year olds born in the late fifties I used to be able to quote to my great satisfaction and at some length .

I scrabble for the tv guide and start fiddling with the remotes , this time begging the box not to give up the ghost ... and here we are , a young man is quoting just like I used to do and an old man is walking the streets of Paris and there is architechture and there are voices and rain and poems by ee cummings and I am almost there and almost back at my desk with my friends and almost back walking by the Seine in March of whatever year it was when I was fifteen and ..
.. and hey , I am spared Big Brother and it was really that simple .

How I adore TS Eliot .
Who doesn't ?

Trapped Wind

Notwithstanding the recent flights disaster and with scant regard for my nerves , the teenage ( 15) daughter is heading off on a flight to Belfast to attend a fiftieth party this weekend ( one of her favourite uncles ) , necessitating yet another early departure from school ( what will her final exam results be and will it all be my fault ? ) .

Shortly before the scheduled preparture time I receive an unexpected text ( most unexpected as her mobile phone was lost from her trouser pocket earlier this week ) , however she seems to have acquired another , stating that she has Trapped Wind with unfortunate consequences but luckily she is dealing with them in the bathroom . ( not quite her choice of language . )

I shudder to think . Any passengers of nervous disposition are likely to be buffeted rather more than is usual on the Newcastle to Belfast route this wet and ( now ) windy Friday . Good luck to them I say .

Let's hope she doesn't read this or my feet wont be touching the ground either ...