And when the feeling in the head is green , its hard to write . Yesterday the feeling in the head was also mostly green . It started out that way at 4 am . Bad sign . When that happens , regular readers of this blog will know I usually take pills and sleep till it passes . And sleep , and don't do anything else . Yesterday , the sleeping went on and on , and one pill led into another , until I'd gone onto the final stage of the neurologist's recommended list ( as carried around in my bag, somewhat crumpled now ), and the greeness did fade a bit and was overtaken by the open blood vessel feeling which is more pale yellow and involves a wonderful muscle relaxed feeling and complete spaced outness which is pure bliss when all expectations of continuing with what passes for normal life have been let go . Once the worrying stage is through which involves concern about all that should be being achieved , what is being missed , when will it all be caught up , then its time to start the story telling in my head . Sometimes the relaxation stories involve summer fields with butterflies and streams and green things and flowing water . Sometimes its the beaches of Costa Rica with the noise of monkeys and parrots in the background . As the images and the sounds mingle with the effect of the drugs I find myself letting go and dozing off and the pounding in the head lessens as I sleep .
Today The head was green again . Sometimes green changes to flaming red , shotting out of the top of the head , but the green persisted . I took pills at 5 am and went back to sleep to dream of a Day Job seminar and sitting at a table and having to run off to a bathroom in an old house where I used to live to be sick . The sickness went on and on . I woke and slept on and off , got up to go out and feed cats on auto pilot , luckily a house where I know the routine like the back of my hand so all was well . Back to bed and three of my cats all joining in purring and singing and trying to keep their squabbles to themselves .
A new CatCall late afternoon where I did everything very slowly and carefully , walking as if I was wearing a big padded snowsuit . Two of the new cats were thrilled to see me but one was alarmed and hurried off to watch me from above . A quick walk with Alice on a new windy beach , which she didnt much like . She seems to associate new places with being abandoned or left behind and looks hastily from side to side every few minutes , constantly checking that we are still there .
I am slipping back towards sleep .
I hope you are all better than me .....
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Tuesday, 19 February 2008
Monday, 18 February 2008
Nat has been away
and has forgotten how stupid the dog can be .....
today she took to walking about with the blanket wrapped round her shoulders like some erstwhile Noel Coward while the rest of us worked .....( the dog not Nat )
Sunday, 17 February 2008
CatCaller from Hell
Today was a lovely relaxing peaceful day but everything went wrong at the CatCall .
I fell over myself I don't know how many times .
And no excuse , this is a house I know really well , its pristine clean and tidy , so all my own fault , except maybe the bin liners were substandard as one of them definitely sheered right in half as I pulled it out of the pedal bin .
The bigger bin bag spilt twice over splashing used kitty litter and poop and liquid something or other all over the floor in the kitchen while the cat looked on in horror , aghast at my profanities .
Things got worse when we ran spark out of litter ( why families they not leave litter ? ) , and I went to poke in the garage ( ever enterprising , never let it be said I didnt look ) then fell over the patio step and tore off the heel of my boot . More profanities . Kitties open mouthed and staring by this time .... when I say the heel I mean the rubber tip bit , easily enough replaced and banged back into place but all the while I'm trying to listen on Radio Four to " Fortunes of War" with Joanna Lumley as the narrator ,and I'm disturbing even mysef . I want to tell myself to shut up and I'm sure the cats feel the same , they were probably meditating quietly before my arrival like the CatCaller from Hell .
Its a sunny day with the temperatures swinging from minus two degrees at seven am , to around three degrees later in the day , but as the sun is out I open the patio doors and let the cats out onto the lawn . There is no cat door so the family suggest leaving them out from one visit to the next but I'm not keen when it may be freezing overnight so I decide to wait till they come back in . Its precisely three and a half minutes I'm waiting .... That long ! They would much rather rush back in and up to their first floor room in the sun . Wise animals .
My own cats have noted the freshly changed sheets and duvet covers and deposited the contents of their stomachs on D s side of the bed , near the head bit . Why ? the bed must measure seven or eight feet across . The room itself is large . What's to stop them do what any self respecting beast would do and barf away from their nest if you please and thank you .
As if D hasnt enough to contend with .
I asked him why he was so quiet this morning . He said he wasn't . Later today when embarking on another box of stuff to clear before storing in the attic , he discovered that today was the anniversary of his father's death 27 years ago . The actual date had slipped his mind , or at least he had not consciously been aware of it . Amazing how the mind stores these things at some level . He told me again the story of how his dad died whilst playing the church organ at a funeral , and how after the initial shock and horror of his demise at such a young age , the family used to smile wryly at how amused his father would probably have been at the way he went , wondering how it was for the family of the deceased at whose funeral he was playing and how it was for them when he suddenly lost his tune . Oh dear . Alice listened carefully throughout the telling of the story and then uttered a deep sigh . I could swear that little greyhound understands English . Or Emotion anyway .
I fell over myself I don't know how many times .
And no excuse , this is a house I know really well , its pristine clean and tidy , so all my own fault , except maybe the bin liners were substandard as one of them definitely sheered right in half as I pulled it out of the pedal bin .
The bigger bin bag spilt twice over splashing used kitty litter and poop and liquid something or other all over the floor in the kitchen while the cat looked on in horror , aghast at my profanities .
Things got worse when we ran spark out of litter ( why families they not leave litter ? ) , and I went to poke in the garage ( ever enterprising , never let it be said I didnt look ) then fell over the patio step and tore off the heel of my boot . More profanities . Kitties open mouthed and staring by this time .... when I say the heel I mean the rubber tip bit , easily enough replaced and banged back into place but all the while I'm trying to listen on Radio Four to " Fortunes of War" with Joanna Lumley as the narrator ,and I'm disturbing even mysef . I want to tell myself to shut up and I'm sure the cats feel the same , they were probably meditating quietly before my arrival like the CatCaller from Hell .
Its a sunny day with the temperatures swinging from minus two degrees at seven am , to around three degrees later in the day , but as the sun is out I open the patio doors and let the cats out onto the lawn . There is no cat door so the family suggest leaving them out from one visit to the next but I'm not keen when it may be freezing overnight so I decide to wait till they come back in . Its precisely three and a half minutes I'm waiting .... That long ! They would much rather rush back in and up to their first floor room in the sun . Wise animals .
My own cats have noted the freshly changed sheets and duvet covers and deposited the contents of their stomachs on D s side of the bed , near the head bit . Why ? the bed must measure seven or eight feet across . The room itself is large . What's to stop them do what any self respecting beast would do and barf away from their nest if you please and thank you .
As if D hasnt enough to contend with .
I asked him why he was so quiet this morning . He said he wasn't . Later today when embarking on another box of stuff to clear before storing in the attic , he discovered that today was the anniversary of his father's death 27 years ago . The actual date had slipped his mind , or at least he had not consciously been aware of it . Amazing how the mind stores these things at some level . He told me again the story of how his dad died whilst playing the church organ at a funeral , and how after the initial shock and horror of his demise at such a young age , the family used to smile wryly at how amused his father would probably have been at the way he went , wondering how it was for the family of the deceased at whose funeral he was playing and how it was for them when he suddenly lost his tune . Oh dear . Alice listened carefully throughout the telling of the story and then uttered a deep sigh . I could swear that little greyhound understands English . Or Emotion anyway .
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Birthday Boy
Happy Birthday Dad , with his little dog tucked in behind him ....
...and the cat livid at us disturbing her peace .
Mind you there were nine of us .....and a tall skinny dog ...
Spring is here ?
Late afternoon walk by the river at Corbridge . Everyone seems to have large corpulent black labradors . As we approach an older ( ie older than us ) man and woman deep in conversation who we see have met on the river path and whose ( almost identical ) dogs are exchanging tail sniffings , I joke that they will be swapping flatulence stories ( in genteel English accents , of course )
" Bertie is horribly flatulent of course these days . I simply stick him out in the utility room and say :Bertie old chap , do your worst and don't come back to the drawing room till you're done , I won't abide the stink "
" Oh yes my dear , and Freddie is more or less the same , I've taken to giving him probiotic yoghurt when Henry has his at breakfast , blah blah blah "
Then' as we draw alongside ,lo and behold if the pair of them aren't indeed deep in conversation about their dogs , their ages and respective ailments ....
" They're just getting onto Wind Issues now " I whisper as we pass by .....D tries hard not to look at me or the very old dogs .
Poo , what's that?
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