Pearl wonders why the surplus furniture is still littering D s office ( cats not understanding the concept of the popped out disc one assumes ? ) , whilst Alice awaits our return from Malmaison last night having rearranged the contents of the sitting room somewhat including the demolition of the remains of a box of ferrero rocher ( dogs not appreciating that chocolate kills ?) . Butter wouldnt melt .

Talking such Nonsense . The Tapir continued .

D has gone to London to see Bruce Springsteen at the O2 Arena . I wonder if my sleep talking will continue even when there is no one to talk to . Mostly it kicks off as he arrives in the bedroom later than me . I have a feeling the tapir exists whether it has an audience or not , and can probably conduct a full scale conversation for several minutes with a Birman cat in any event if necessary . There is also Nathalia in residence ; sometimes I understand it is a detailed question from her ( about her requirements for school the next day or some such ) which sparks off one of my one woman ( one tapir?) performances .

Even as I sleep talk , I am usually aware that I am not making sense and I feel like laughing at myself but somehow this is never quite enough to stop me . I remind myself of my grandfather when he was in hospital in his last years , when he would inform me with a smile on his face that he had been " for a ride on a motorbike today " . When I looked quizzical , he would smile again and maybe say "What am I talking about ? Not a motor bike , some other chariot ? A wheelchair they call them here ! " then later , musing , " I talk such nonsense sometimes . "

Yes , that's me and topamax . Talking such nonsense .

The Tapir

The Topamax has kicked in , though only last thing at night .
I am in bed . almost asleep , impersonating a tapir , using my right hand as the nose . D laughs out loud at me ( possibly partly his nerves kicking in ) and I say , crossly , " the tapir doesnt think its funny " .
Later , as the cat scratches at the wardrobe door ( wanting to examine the Christmas presents in there ) , I say " Jessie , you are not in Soft Furnishings now "
and D asks " where is she then ? "
And I say " she is not in that section of the department store . " and return to sleep .

images of barcelona

Rose petals and champagne , fish stall in the market , mime artist las ramblas .

Images of Barcelona

Reality?

I'm not sure what reality is yet ?
I get back from Barcelona on Sunday and I'm still reeling . Cardiogirl has admitted herself to a psychiatric ward and Guilty Secret has left Baddie . Bead Lady has posted some pictures of some great silver jewellry . My sister is at my house and Alice and the cats and the guinea pigs all seem thrilled to see us . It being that odd pre Christmas time though there 's an odd feeling everywhere that I can't quite get my head around and I'm not sure its my brain fighting on a daily basis to stave off migraines ( and largely succeeding ) .
Today is the exception though its nowhere near as bad as it would have been pre Topamax and I still mamange to do the wor( Day Job) I need to , just not quite at the right times . Since we took the flight last Thursday , when I close my eyes I get wierd images , flickerings in my eyes and the feeling that a migraine is imminent but I manage to stave it off and thats some relief . Last night when I closed my eyes I got huge psychedelic shapes , these are new and strangely scary , and they fade as my eyes open and the darkness recedes . I accustom to them but not to the feeling that something is imminent . I wonder , not for the first time , if I should be driving , but I need to be up the coast this afternoon and it all goes according to plan .

mental health days ?

By the way , can ayone explain to me what a mental health day is ? I keep reading them on blogs . We dont have them here ( UK ) . It sounds like a day off to take care of your mental health ?